Jamie thinks it would be ear porn if the experts gave Lauren some harsh truths at tonight’s Married At First Sight (MAFS) 2025 Commitment Ceremony; meanwhile, Carina might piss herself.
Lauren and Clint: Lauren and Clint walk through at the last minute and I’d be surprised if production hadn’t already used this trick for Tim and Morena. The children have at it before Daddy John jumps in and demands they sit on the couch.
I am sad to report Lauren is still trying to make Boganic happen. Jamie is also still trying to make interrupting happen, and Clint is still trying to make swear-words-feel-natural-coming-out-of-his-mouth happen.
Somewhere in the wildfire, Lauren tells Adrian that he probably doesn’t receive many invites to parties (lol) and Adrian calls her “crazy” for not being able to see her own behaviour. Anyone got a mirror? The audacity.
Clint and Lauren say they don’t have romantic feelings, which is a very normal thing to happen when you chuck two single people together. They both write leave. Lauren wrote she is “Leav-ing the zoo” and I’m sorry, is that mean or just plain fact?
John asks them if they’d like to stay for the rest of the ceremony (why do they call it this?) and they politely decline.
Adrian and Awhina: Awhina confirms that the bar is very low with Adrian, telling the experts that even if he wanted to go to the tip with her, she’d be really happy. Adrian says that “it’s obviously obvious” he is staying and the only obviously obvious thing to me is that Awhina deserves someone better. NEXT.
Ryan and Jacqui: Ryan has started complimenting Jacqui’s intellect. And fashion! It’s nice for her to be seen as more than “a model” and “hot,” she says.
Jacqui tells the experts (and Australia, again) about Ryan’s need to save his testosterone for the gym, dinner parties and commitment ceremonies, meaning his sausage shop is closed otherwise.
Alessandra reminds Ryan that he doesn’t need to come for a woman to come. Yeah! It says everything we need to know about him, really. We finished their session with Jacqui crying after she got in trouble with the school principal (Ryan).
They stay, but as they go back to the others, Ryan puts his arm around Jacqui but hits her head on the way. I’m sure we’ll hear about this for the next three years of our lives.
Veronica and Eliot: Veronica reckons she’s been filtering her personality to make Eliot more comfortable, and yeah, we’ve all been there. They both feel like the other doesn’t like them, so the experts are as confused as us when they both write “stay” anyway.
Rhi and Jeff: They can see themselves falling in love with each other. I’d make a joke about hitting up your ex for round two if I weren’t quite literally dating mine. They stay.
Beth and Teejay: Beth doesn’t think Teejay is attracted to her even though he consistently admires her anoos. They stay.
Carina and Paul: The couple arrives for the Cadbury commercial, and I’m pleased to report that Carina is not Miles Davis’ level of cool yet. She has, however, dared to bring up the Mean Girls reference again.
Jamie finds this insulting while insulting Carina for her feelings, opinions, and general existence. Carina tells the experts that she doesn’t feel intelligent enough in this situation, like her feelings are invalid and dumbed down. She and Paul stay another week.
Jamie and Dave: Jamie thinks she is a “mumma bear” who “protects her cubs” and Alessandra informs Jamie that she’s identifying with the wrong species. Jamie then turns to Carina and gives her a very sincere apology that could’ve also qualified in a staring contest.
Jamie says she’s in love with Big Dave, and as someone who will jump off a bridge for any man over 6 foot 3, I can’t say I’m surprised. Dave is also not surprised.
Are we hearing this music? Is… Law & Order about to start? I smell heartbreak for these two.
