Crikey jeez, you guys! We’ve made it! The final component of Married at First Sight Australia 2023 — the Final Vows, part deux!

In case you missed Final Vows — Part Un, on Sunday, Melinda and Layton decided to stick it out, choosing to stay together, while Duncan dumped Alyssa most brutally. It was stunning, brilliant and kinda f**ked up, so naturally, we loved it!

Tonight, it’s time for Godly pair Tahnee and Ollie, mismatched Evelyn and Rupert and “there’s absolutely no way” Lyndall and Cameron… so frankly, it will also be brutal. Can’t wait.

As the couples pack up to leave their marital homes, their futures weigh heavily on their minds.

For love birds Tahnee and Ollie, the experiment has been a great success as their bond has continued to grow throughout the experiment. However, the reality of living on opposite sides of Australia has finally hit home for the couple and they are left questioning if their relationship can last the distance.

Spoiler alert: apparently, they now live together, so yes, it can… And you can bet Ollie is “straight vibin'” in Bondi…

Meanwhile, Lyndall is broken after Cameron’s revelation at the Final Dinner Party that he is not falling in love with her.

Luckily, there is a knock on the door – and they find an iPad playing their wedding video.

The couple soon reflects on their wedding day, and it seems like there is a glimmer of hope for the pair. As they pack their things and say goodbye to their shared home, the couple seems uplifted by their happy memories and part ways with a loving kiss. An actual kiss. Not a non-existent kiss which will make Lyndall question her life choices, as previous episodes faired.

Down the hall, Rupert and Evelyn are positively screwed. And not in a good way. Tensions felt from the Dinner Party are overshadowing their farewell, and not even a look back at their sh**-show of a wedding could save them…

Evelyn and Rupert’s Final Vows

Finally, it’s time for the Final Vows. Evelyn and Rupert waste no time because they want to leg it out of there as soon as humanly possible.

The couple is soon standing face to face at their ceremony, which is a complete waste of time, in our humble opinion…

Precisely zero has changed, and Rupert is unable to speak. Shocker. Evelyn then takes control of the situation. She’s got more than enough followers now, b**ches. She’s outta there.

They both agree that their relationship cannot work, but wish one another well for the future and hope that love will find them both one day.

Bye, guys. You were as mismatched as honey and cement… No point in actually recapping your choice. It was rushed through anyway…

Tahnee and Ollie

Before Tahnee and Ollie’s Final Vows, we were tricked into thinking that distance, would indeed, not make the heart grow fonder…

Psyche. They’re perfect.

Tahnee’s Final Vows

“Ollie, before coming into the experiment, I really struggled with dating, and I didn’t think I would find someone who just understood me or even wanted to.

“I was so nervous walking down that aisle to see your handsome and smiling face standing at the end was a huge relief. From that first hello, I felt a spark between us, and then getting to know you on the day I could feel that instant chemistry. Even in our awkward moments, it felt like I’d known you for years.

“This journey together has been such a whirlwind and full of so many emotions. It hasn’t all been perfect. But, no matter how challenging it has been, we’ve come together as a team and managed to come out on top. I’ve never felt so comfortable in a relationship or felt such strong feelings.

“Coming into this experiment, I was looking for a best friend, and I feel so lucky to have found that. I’m so grateful to the universe for putting us together. It’s crazy to think we came in as strangers only a few months ago and to now see how far we’ve come. It’s hard for me to picture what life would look like without you in it.

“Ollie, I am falling in love with you and I can’t wait to see what the future holds.”

Ollie’s Final Vows

“Dear Tahnee, let me be honest, I didn’t think this would happen. I didn’t think I’d be standing here today three months down at the end of our journey on this experiment.

“I came in with no expectations. Yet I was so relieved when I turned around and saw you. I instantly felt connected to your warmth and it calmed me immediately. And when we kissed and I think we can both agree there was a spark. But sparks are only the start of something and we’ve had to work so hard on this relationship to get where we are today.

“I always found it funny when other couples would gloss over our relationship at Dinner Parties, making it seem they assumed everything was smooth sailing. We’ve been far from perfect and have faced adversity every day…

“The secret sauce I think is how we’ve tackled it though. We’ve had conversations that have been confronting and difficult for the both of us. Each time this has happened, we’ve put our self interest aside and worked hard on bringing it back to us as a couple. That’s something to me that has made me really proud to be with you. I feel we’ve been raw, real and honest from the get go.

“But I think this experience really put up a mirror to my own insecurities. Going back to Perth after the final dinner party made me realise just how much I miss home. We’d been going so well in the experiment that I’d forgotten how much I love and what I’d be giving up if I left. I wondered whether we have been too too naive about how tough it will be.

“Being home it hit me just how far apart we actually live. And that having a long distance relationship for the short term is a very likely scenario. And I realise how difficult that will be for both of us.

“But Tahnee, it doesn’t matter where I am. I can be anywhere as long as I’m with you. This is not the end of our experiment. We’re just getting started.

“Am I falling in love with you? YEP! And I’m excited to confirm these feelings outside of this experiment. I think the question we’ve both been dancing around for the last few weeks is, are we in a full-blown relationship? And I think the saying goes, ‘if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a bloody duck.'”

Could they be any more perfect for one another? We think not!

While we would have loved to finish on a high note, nothing could prepare us for what was to come…

Lyndall and Cameron

Cameron has headed back to the only place he likes… Darwin. It’s clear, their relationship has no future.

Meanwhile, back in Brisvegas, Lyndall is missing Cam, unaware that he hates her.

Lyndall’s mother, Kelly-Anne, however, reminds her that she deserves to be loved in all the ways her partner should, and she is left wondering if Cam is not the person for her. LOL. Obviously, grl!

Finally, it’s time for them to meet in the Blue Mountains, and Cameron is already uncomfortable AF before the best thing ever happens…well, since Duncan said “goodbye” to Alyssa.

Lyndall’s Final Vows

“Should we do it,” she says.

“Cam, I came to this experiment with a simple goal of finding love. For most of my life, being married, having a partner, and planning for the future were pipe dreams I guilted myself out of.

“I thought that because I have cystic fibrosis, I could never be someone’s forever person. I’ve waited almost all my life to finally be able to offer my unwavering commitment to someone. I came here, the happiest, healthiest version of myself, ready to commit to you through thick and thin and to always do everything in my power to make sure you knew I was in this for the long haul.

“I’ve been thinking about when I first met you on our wedding day. You were warm, welcoming, funny and sweet. You instantly made me feel at ease. Like, I finally found what I was looking for. It was one of the best days of my life. Those first few weeks were amazing. Comparing country songs, singing in the shower, soaking up the sun and getting to know each other. You threw yourself into this experience, into me.

“Unfortunately, at one point or another, the man I met at our wedding started fading away. In our first few weeks together, you could barely see through the smallest of criticisms, and constantly walked out of hard conversations, leaving me to pick up the pieces. You told me you’ve never had a relationship because you can’t handle being confronted. And so you ran.

“Then on several occasions, you told me to be silent, regardless of what was right. To stay in my lane or you would run from me and once this crack started to form, you withdrew from this relationship completely.

“I constantly had to beg for a shred of affection, your time, your attention and support when I was hurting. I felt like I was a burden and that being there for me as my partner was an inconvenience. I drove myself insane trying to figure out how to be the partner you wanted.

“But, I realised that there was never anything I could do to be the partner you wanted, because you simply don’t want one. This entire relationship has been on your terms and yours alone. My patience has been challenged and my commitment has been taken for granted.

“Relationships mean you work with people through their flaws, but you don’t forgive them for treating me poorly.

“If there is one good thing that cystic fibrosis has given me, its resilience. All my life I’ve had to give up so much. I’ve been held back, limited and struggled through trauma and judgement I wouldn’t wish on anyone. But I have always thrived in spite of this.

“I have now been given a miracle. A fresh start and a new version of my life that is completely unburdened and unlimited. I won’t spend another moment of that life restricted by my condition. Not by my body, not by fear and certainly not by you.

“So, to put it bluntly, stay in your lane and I’ll stay in mine. I want to build a life that I’m proud of and that life does not include you.”

GO OFF, SIS!!!!!!!!!!

Cam’s Final Vows

Jokes, Cam didn’t get to say his final vows because Lyndall wouldn’t let him. Instead, he threw his paper on the floor and walked off like a goddamn toddler.

WHAT. AN. ENDING!!!!

Married at First Sight will continue on Sunday with a Reunion episode.

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