Holy Moly! It’s intruder time! It’s episode seven of Farmer Wants a Wife Australia 2023 and we’ve got some new ladies.
But before we can meet them, we’re catching up with the Farmers and the current crop of women they’re luring to live a life with on the land.
“I feel like we’re all settling in really nicely,” Olivia says, while secreting love heart eye emojis from her pores. “I’m happy with us and I love the farm life.” Foreshadowing?!
Over on Farmer Brenton’s farm, Brenton says that his connection with Sophie is “deep” and that it feels like “they’re best friends”.
“I definitely can see a future with Soph,” he says. Cute!
Host Sam Armytage then invites the Farmers on an “exciting weekend getaway” without the ladies.
“Youse have got it sorted,” Farmer Brad tells his potential wives, before leaving them to run his farm.
While Clare says she’s got a good thing going with her farmer, “things can change very quickly” and yes, m’lady. Yes, they can.
On Farmer David’s farm, Emily — who has clearly watched FWAW before — says that she has a feeling David “is going to meet a new lady”
“It’s not the best feeling but it’s part of the journey,” she says.
After Brenton hugs goodbye to his three remaining ladies, Frankie laments that it’s “really hard” since she didn’t get a chance to chat with him before he left.
“I don’t want to focus on the negatives but it’s really hard not to,” she says. “It’s just constantly blow, after below. I mean, what is this?!” It’s Farmer babes. Brenton is gonna date 50 women before he doesn’t choose you.
Meanwhile, Farmer Andrew has a parting gift for his loves. A pair of “jocks” in the washing machine. Cool.
The Farmers arrive at the weekend getaway
Firstly, we get what the Farmer David fuss is all about… what a guy! He tells the other farmers that he’s spent time with Lorelei and Emily.
“Big fella” Brenton reveals it’s “all going well” with a big grin on his face. When Farmer Brad asks him if he’s “dropped the L word”, he blushes.
“Nah, but she did in the hay shed,” he says referring to Soph.
The guys then question why they’ve been called on a getaway with Farmer David a.k.a our new collective husband, saying he hopes it’s a “nice catch-up in the countryside”, but then quickly backtracks, because he understands the assignment.
Natalie Gruzlewski surprises the Farmers
“Cupid-in-arms” Natalie Gruzlewski interrupts the Farmers and tells them they’re a “very handsome bunch”.
“Over the years, I’ve had the pleasure of helping many farmers find their soulmate,” Nat tells the group. “I didn’t want you to miss out and I wanted to make sure that you had every chance at finding love.” i.e. here’s a bunch of ladies to confuse you even more.
“I have handpicked ladies I would love you to meet,” she says. The Farmers smile politely, but inside are screaming.
Nat has done some research and has chosen ladies with “some” of the qualities they’re looking for in their future wife… which is wildly concerning but also a relief for their womens at home.
The Farmers meet the Ten new ladies…
Brad is introduced to Shelby and Hannah…
Farmer David met Jessica and Alyssa….
Farmer Matt is introduced to Demi and Madelon (yes this is the correct spelling)…
Farmer Andrew met Sarah and Casey…
And finally, Farmer Brenton was introduced to Bec and Jemma.
“Seeing these two girls walk up makes my legs buckle and I’ve got butterflies,” he said and calm down, Brenton. “It’s just blown me away. I’m in big trouble.”
Meanwhile, back on Brenton’s farm
Back on Brenton’s farm, the ladies are in full glam “working” on the farm.
“How do you girls feel if he does bring some of the girls home,” Rachel asks Frankie and Sophie.
Sophie admits she would be “sad” if Brenton brought someone else back since she dropped the L-bomb.
Brenton, who reckons he hasn’t done any dating in the past, meets Jemma and they talk about deep sh** like the weather.
Jemma is from the Barossa Valley and is a “country bumpkin” herself, and Brenton thinks she’s easy to talk to.
Next up is Farmer Brad, who looks like a completely different person with his hat off…
He meets Hannah, a vet nurse who is British, delightful and stuh-nning. She also has horses and six brothers and sisters.
Hannah reveals she’s “wanted this forever” (farm lyfe, not Farmer Brad) and the pair talk about how many kids they want and actually, we just love Hannah and want her to stay.
Meanwhile, Farmer Andrew’s OG’s Claire and Jess are living it up in his ute and Farmer Brad’s OG’s are eating pizza which they say has been the “highlight”. Lol.
On Farmer “Dave’s” farm, the ladies are playing pool down at the local pub. Lorelei admits she is missing him and that she’s falling for him, while Claire, who is still livin’ large in Andrew’s ute, feels the same about her man.
“He’s a lot more comfotrabla,” she says. “Definitely got the feels. Who would have thought that would happen,” she says. Certainly, not I!
Farmer Andrew meets our new spirit animal, Sarah from Bondi
Farmer Andrew then meets Sarah who delivers arguably the best line of the season.
“I’m from Bondi,” she says. We are crying, screaming, laughing. Bondi?! That’s not out in the bush!!
Sarah from Bondi and Andrew bond over Toastmasters, which gives us major anxiety and flashbacks, but they seem to like it, but we feel sorry for their potential babies who will be forced to partake.
Even though Sarah is from Bondi, some of her “ancestors” worked on sheep farms, which makes her perfect for him. We love Sarah from Bondi. Please keep her.
Farmer Matt then meets Madelon a.k.a Maddy a.k.a M&Ms, who has a horse called Skittles. She presents Matt with a horseshoe.
Farmer David meets Alyssa who was “really nervous” and Farmer Andrew meets his second lady, who is not Sarah from Bondi.
The other dates move by in a flash meaning that the Farmers have zero interest in them whatsoever, until Matt meets Demi who has a tattoo of “patience” on her hand.
Shelby is then introduced to Farmer Brad and she gets giddy over how “hot” he is. Brad calls her “likeable” until she reveals that her dad’s name is Brad which is a weird thing to say on a first date.
The Farmers must decide who to bring back to the farm
After what seemed like 30 second dates, the Farmers must now decide on who they will take back to the farm.
Here’s who they chose:
- Farmer Matt — Madelon
- Farmer Andrew — Sarah from Bondi (HALLELUJAH!)
- Farmer Brad — Shelby (we love you, Hannah)
- Farmer David — Alyssa
- Farmer Brenton — Jemma
The five Farmers then embark on solo dates with the women of their choice.
Farmer Brad and Shelby have a romantic “Notebook” date and she reveals she hasn’t been very lucky in love and just like her floundering love life, the boat begins to sink… HA!!
“It was quite funny seeing the boat take on water,” Brad says and we agree. It was bloody hilarious.
Jemma asks Farmer Brenton to “take off his shirt”
“Our once shy Farmer Brenton” who has found more confidence than all five Farmers put together, engages in a game of Truth or Dare.
Jemma asks him to do push-ups and asks him to take his shirt off. He obliges.
Brad says he’s attracted to Jemma who asks him if he sees them being able to form a “deeper” connection and he says he does.
“You’re embarrassing me,” he says, to which she replies. “You’re embarrassing me, stop” and basically, they’re both embarrassing themselves because SOPHIEEEEEE.
The pair admit they feel like they’ve known each other for a long time, which is actually so goddamn cute. And then this happens:
Oh. my. god. Poor SOPHIEEEEEEEEE!
Farmer David and Alyssa feed alpacas and what is this?! The Bachelor?!
Farmer David and Alyssa are feeding alpacas on their date, which is very Bachelor of them. They then make a bunch of flowers out of weird pom pom ball things.
They share a few cute moments together and David presents her with her first bunch of “weird pom pom balls”.
Finally, we’re back to the Toastmaster King and Queen, Farmer Andrew and Sarah from Bondi.
Andrew admits he needs to learn to be more affectionate and Sarah announces she has a rule in life. “Two twenty second hugs a day”. Wow.
But excuse me, could this get anymore bush?! (see below)
Farmer Matt and Madelon have had a lovely time together and share the world’s most unaffectionate kiss . It was so quick, we didn’t have time to take a screenshot…
Meanwhile, Farmer Brad and Shelby are straight up vibin’ (as Ollie from MAFS would say) — well, Shelby moreso than Brad…
“I get the feeling that you are a gentleman and you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but also, I sort of wish you weren’t right now,” she tells him and 😒.
Brad: “Jeezus christ” –> kiss. Cool.
The Country Fair begins…
The OG ladies meet at a Country Fair and they have “much to gossip about”.
After playing Country Fair games, they drink.
“Everyone is here except the Farmers,” Olivia says, while Frankie continues her downward spiral. She wants to talk to Farmer David about his feelings for her, but is pretty sure he hates her.
The Farmers return with the new ladies and it’s supes awkies. The OG ladies begin to spiral, and Olivia freaks out because it’s “hard to watch” the gents “date other ladies”. Once again. Wrong show, babes.
Madelon couldn’t care less about “ruffling feathers” and “is not here to make friends”, so we’re predicting some heckers drama coming from her end.
David awkwardly introduces Alyssa to his OGs and genuinely looks uncomfortable. Lorelei is “intimidated” by the new arrival, but don’t worry, she has her emotional support teddy bear.
Farmer Andrew introduces Sarah from Bondi to Claire and Jess who take her for a drink, before Farmer Brad walks hand-in-hand with Shelby.
Over at Farmer Brad’s table, the ladies are also feeling threatened, but not as much as our poor, dear Sophie who is sweating bullets.
Brenton arrives holding Jemma’s hand and the OGs could tell “there was something between them”. Frankie, meanwhile, decides she is done.
“I’m not going to wait around for a date that’s not going to come,” she saids. “I will choose to walk, I will go home.”
CLIFFHANGER!!!
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