It feels weird to be typing Married at First Sight Reunion Dinner Party, given that it feels like only yesterday we were subjected to Harrison and Bronte’s nuptials.
Yet, here we are. Back in a room with ALL the participants, ready to hear the good, bad and ugly come out of their mouths. And that’s just from Alyssa…
Beginning with a look at ~eVeRYthIng~ that happened during the experiment (i.e. the most traumatic recap of our lives), we saw faces we completely forgot existed.
Thankfully, Melinda and Layton and “our gorgeous Gen Z lovers” Tahnee and Ollie, are entering the Reunion Dinner Party still together. They’re all anticipating a sh** show. As are we.
But before the FINAL final sit down meal, we were transported to the cast hotel rooms (and there’s a lot of them, since everyone bar four people needed one of their own) where everyone was getting ready in slow-motion.
Melinda and Layton
First up, we are blessed with glowing Gods, Layton and Melinda.
“I feel like no one expected us to last,” Melinda says, but mostly Layton, who reacted like this:
According to the pair, the first week “out” as a couple IRL was very “testing”, however, they managed to move forward and now want to get a puppy together…
“I fall more in love with Melinda every day that we’re not arguing,” he says and LAWL because apparently it’s only “three or four” days out of seven that they like each other…
While Melinda calls Layton her “perfect man”, Layton calls her his “ball and chain”. Cute! They’re also looking forward to their future of fighting and sometimes being in love. Double cute!
Tahnee and Ollie
Onto our most beloved and the most golden of couples, Tahnee and Ollie, and they’ve had “their own revelation”.
“Newsflash!” Ollie says before Tahnee admits they’re moving in together. Firstly, we hope they find something bigger than Tahnee’s apartment… but also, it’s Sydney. So probably not.
Apparently, Ollie hates Tahnee’s use of emojis, which is hilarious because Ollie is a walking emoji…. but they are so damn sweet, dessert would be too much.
Bronte
Bronte is preparing herself for a “confrontational night”, calling the reunion “the most anticipated dinner party of all-time”. Frankly, we could think of better ones, but we know this is sure to go down in history. Plus, she’s dressed as a sexy sparkly lemon and we love this energy from her.
Bronte is also feeling “excited”, purely because she hasn’t spoken one word to her former TV husband.
“I’ve never been happier. It’s funny what happens when you drop dead weight!” she says…
Speaking of…
Harrison
Cue the villain score. Like Slim Shady, Harrison is back, “back again”.
“Who would have thought?” he says. Not us, bro and we truly didn’t ask for it….
Harrison thinks he’s walking in to the reunion “vindicated”, which is truly baffling since all of Australia can’t stand him.
“Bronte created the drama to be honest,” he says and NEXT.
P.S He was single at the time of filming — which obviously didn’t last long — since he now has a 21-year-old GF.
Evelyn
Evelyn has also decided to make an appearance and truly looks like a smoke-show.
“Tonight is going to be pretty epic,” she says and since she was featured after ol’ mate, we’re taking this as FORESHADOWING!
Oh, wait. She’s talking about “lingering emotions that have been built up”. Does she mean with Rupert? He said like two words… No, wait, we’re confused. They’re showing Janelle, Adam and Sandy and Dan (God, remember them?!)… so now we KNOW she is referring to EVERYONE.
“It’s like putting dogs on heat into a kennel,” she says. LEL.
Jesse
Purple wunderkind Jesse is ready to rock tonight, which is so goddamn nice for him.
“Claire and I have been talkin’ everyday,” he says, while looking bloody stoked.
“There’s definitely a part of me that misses Claire,” he says. “Maybe there’s still something there…”
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Alyssa and Duncan
“Time has not healed all wounds,” our narrator reveals. Alyssa is seething that Duncan didn’t want to work through their “issues”…probably because he tried to everyday, babes.
As if she wasn’t present at any moment during the passed three months, Alyssa says that Duncan “never told me ONCE that he was on the fence about our relationship”.
“I gave my heart to him on a platter and he just smashed it into a million pieces.” Okkkkk….
Alyssa then calls Duncan’s behaviour “disgusting”, saying that he needs to “take off that mask”. We vote against this, because… have you seen him?
Over in her ex’s room, Duncan says the complete opposite to what she accuses him of doing — talking badly about her behind her back.
“I won’t say a bad word about Alyssa,” he laments. “I will always have a soft spot for her,” before saying that the Final Vows were one of the “hardest decisions” of his life.
“She’s an amazing person,” he says… also as though he wasn’t present during the experiment.
“I’m really thankful for all those moments we had together. I just think there were a lot of things that weren’t right for the dynamic of our relationship.” 👀
Lyndall
We’re already 16:41 seconds in and not one person has sat down to dinner yet…
Obviously, Lyndall and Cam need their turn in the spotlight after their completely f**ked marriage and we are ready.
Oh shhhhhh**t. Lyndall has heard “bits and pieces of information that have completely changed” how she feels about the “entire” experience.
SIDE NOTE: Can we just take a moment to worship the stylists tonight?! The women look BAD-ASS! But especially Lyndall who is ready for war.
OH. MY. GOD.
Lyndall has heard from TWO different people that Cam and one “of the girls in the experiment” have been SEXTING AND SENDING GODDAMN NUDES. WHO Lyndall? WHO?! We MUST know.
“So many things are starting to make more sense,” she says.
During the recap of their rocky relationship, we see that Tayla and Cam hit it off over music.
“Tayla, she seemed very lovely,” Cam said after the Dinner Party where they ~connected~. OH MY WORD.
“He’s really nice, chatty. Genuine, kind of country boy, easy to talk to and I think we’ll both get along really well,” Tayla said at the time. Next to her husband, Hugo…👀
There was even footage of Lyndall telling Tahnee that Tayla was “into Cam, 100%”… how did we not see this?!
“This whole thing made me question everything that Cam said to me during the experiment,” she says. “Cam didn’t have the spine to say he wasn’t interested.”
Cam…and Tayla
Nek minute…
Producer: “So, are you seeing anyone?”
Cam: “I don’t want to give too much away. We’ll leave it at that.”
Cam, we have questions.
Does Tayla know you are a DIDO worker?! Does she know you don’t have access to your phone for up to an ENTIRE year and she won’t be able to sext you while you’re in your beloved Darwin?!
It’s time for the Married at First Sight Reunion Cocktail Party
“It’s the reunion, you guys. We’re finally here,” Expert Alessandra says. And, finally indeed. It’s already been 20 minutes of show time and we need sh*t to go down STAT.
Alessandra thinks there’s going to be some “positive evolution” because they’ve had time to reflect etc and she also clearly hasn’t been paying attention…
Expert John however, wants the couples to give each other “feedback”, which is completely dumb but we’re totally here for it.
Jesse is the first to arrive to a “fitting audience” to “welcome” him in all his “glory”. Lol. As Ollie would say, he’s “straight up vibin'”.
At least the Experts are thrilled to see him!
“This is the Jesse we LOVE to see,” Expert Mel says.
Sandy arrives next and she’s learned how to stand up for herself. Jesse tells her she’s kept in contact with Claire, while Lyndall wants to vomit in her rideshare.
Weirdly, the Experts are shocked that Cam is not with her, and Jesse reacts to the news of the sexting like this:
Lyndall thinks that Cam’s “lack of affection” was because of his texting prowess and it gave her a whole heap of “clarity”.
Jesse, who was in a ball of goddamn light, was devo by the news because his “hopes and dreams” of a fun and happy night, “were shot down pretty quick”.
Thankfully, Tahnee and Ollie enter.
“Yes!” Jesse says, all hope restored.
Alyssa still won’t stop banging on about Duncan
That’s it. That’s the whole sub-head.
“And she’s single,” Expert Mel says. No, sh*t.
Apparently Duncan has been living his “best single life” etc and Alyssa is f**king mad.
Meanwhile, Sandy, Tahnee and Lyndall are all like:
And then Duncan arrives… He says hi to everyone, including Alyssa, who is all like:
And the Experts are like:
Apparently, Duncan gives her “the ick” and she doesn’t want to sit next to him at the Dinner Party. You should just leave now, Alyssa. The Producer’s have set the place cards…
Melissa and Evelyn enter, before Claire arrives and Jesse turns the colour of a tomato. CUTE! They hug for what seems like hours.
Cam ignores Lyndall and Lyndall has A LOT to say
Back on the Cam train, Lyndall says he wants to tell Hugo about her ex and his ex, before Cam walks in looking a little “sheepish”. He then completely ignores Lyndall and Expert John is not impressed.
Ollie tells Cam he’s heard a lot of rumours about him and Tayla, with Cam confirming there’s “diddly squat” going on.
“Can’t a guy have mates who are chicks?” he asks and not mates you sext while in another relationship…
“It’s no one else’s smoke but mine,” he adds, and I believe the expression is: “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.”
Cam, while looking very guilty, doesn’t know where the information about this “whole Tayla thing” is coming from, but since he has the fear of God in his eyes, we know it’s 100000% true.
“It’s horses**t. The whole lot is horses**t.”
Saved by the mime.
Rupert has arrived, followed by Josh, Janelle, Adam, Caitlin, Shannon and Dan. Bronte enters next and says spending time away from her ex-husband has “put everything into perspective”.
Until Harry walks in.
“Bit chilly, the reception,” he says. 🙄
Melinda and Layton then enter hand-in-hand and Expert John says “it’s a great outcome”, with only a tiny bit of disbelief…
While Mel is thrilled that everyone is excited for her and her now boyfie, she notices the tension and dives straight into the gossip.
Hugo arrives feeling “good”…lol and the girls turn into detectives
Finally, Hugo enters the Cocktail Party and Cam says to him: “Ready for the smoke?” before completely avoiding saying anything about being a dirty dog.
Once he has said his hellos, Lyndall pulls Hugo aside and Cam begins to sh** himself.
“Cam has been sexting Tayla,” Lyndall tells Hugo.
“And it started in the experiment…”
Oh, deary me…
Hugo is hurt and wonders why even bothered.
“I thought I had a car that wouldn’t start, as it turns out, I wasn’t given the right keys,” he says. But also, why is Josh there?!
Hugo wants to know if Lyndall will talk to Tayla about the rumours and she says, she’ll probably be more “honest” about it than Cam.
The other women then put their detective eye-glasses on and say they’re ready to see how the sexters interact with one another.
And then trouble walks in, in the form of Tayla.
“Here she is,” Cam says… GUILTY. GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY!
Even the Experts are dying to see what happens… but not as much as Melinda, who has literal wine tea in her hand.
When Lyndall hugs Cam, all of the blood rushes to his head. GUILTY! And Expert Mel says it’s so goddamn “hurtful” that Cam hugged his sexting companion and not Lyndall.
Meanwhile, Tayla has no idea that EVERYONE knows. Melinda, who is literally Sherlock Holmes at this point, sees Tayla hug someone else before looking back at Cam. She then notices that Tayla “caressed Cam and kept walking.” GUILTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“I didn’t get a double caressing,” Melinda says. Well, she should have! She looks FIRE!
Tahnee tells Tayla about the rumours
“B**ch, get over here I need to talk to you,” Tahnee says to Tayla. “So, there’s rumours…You and Cam.”
“Yep,” Tayla says. Cool.
Tayla says that “nothing” is happening, which is such BS, before Tahnee grills her even more.
“Tayla, have you been sexting? The whole country I need to know.”
“Why is everyone doing this?” Tayla asks, and girl. It is PIPING HOT TEA. That’s why.
Ollie then questions why Tayla is going so red and she says: “Hang on a second, hey. Hey. Hey.”
Before… DINNER IS SERVED. F**king finally. We’re starving!!!!!!
Dinner is served with a side of DRAMA
Walking into the dinner party, Tayla wants to be swallowed up by the floor. “F**K,” she says, hyperventilating with fear.
“What I hope, is they’ll be open and honest about it,” Expert John says. LOL, have you met these people?
The participants go to find their place cards…but there are no place cards… a missed opportunity in our opinion. Meanwhile, Bronte is sitting opposite her arch nemesis (Harrison), and Duncan is sitting across from his (Alyssa).
Melinda then clinks her glass. While we think she’s about to make a toast, there is no toast. Instead: “I’d like to address the elephant in the room.” HERE WE GOOOOOOO….
The Experts are cackling because there are “a few elephants”, but we’d like to start with Cam and Tayla, plz.
“This sexting sh**,” Cam says defensively.
“So, let’s hear it,” Melinda says and YES, PLEASE. Let’s!
According to Cam, after the Final Vows, he went back home and engaged in “friendly banter with Tayla”. Define “friendly banter” for the court of opinion, plz Cam.
Apparently it was just “back-and-forth texting” and it “was nothing serious”, a “friendly chat” if you will.
“If you call that sexting, then sorry. I’ve sexted,” he says while adding that it shouldn’t be an “issue” if it happened outside the experiment.
“Correct,” Harrison says. Shut up, Harrison.
Lyndall says it does affect the people they were matched with, especially because they were both acting suss during the show.
Tayla:
Lyndall drops receipt after receipt
Lyndall then drops a bombshell.
“I know that they were talking before Final Vows,” she says because she SAW CAM TEXT TAYLA. WHAT?!?! THIS IS BRAND-NEW INFORMATION, LYNDALL.
Both Cam and Tayla continue to deny, deny, deny — but guys, the evidence is stacked up against you.
Alyssa then says that THEY ALL noticed something between Cam and Tayla, while Cam says that he hasn’t got any feelings…………………………….for Tayla.
Harrison, then interjects, even though not one person asked him, and says that he’s spoken to some of the girls from inside the experiment since leaving the show. Firstly, who the fork is being a traitor?! and secondly this:
“But, did you make jokes about having threesomes with those women while in the experiment?” Lyndall asks. Mate, she is sitting on a GOLDMINE.
Harrison: “diD CaM?!”
Lyndall: “YES.”
Sweet Ollie then throws Cam under the bus.
“I’ll verify. He did.” Sweet, sweet Ollie.
Cam, irate and GUILTY AF, then defends himself and says that he “makes jokes about everything” and threesomes aren’t a joke, Cam.
Even Harrison was rendered speechless.
Meanwhile, Miss Giggles a.k.a Tayla, couldn’t stop laughing. Weird flex, but OK….
“Whatever is going on between her and Cam, it doesn’t seem appropriate,” Expert John says. DAH.
Tayla admits to something HUGE or small…depending on who you ask…
“I mean, I’d be keen,” Tayla says before adding: “Joking, joking”. Now’s not the time, beb.
Lyndall then reveals that there was “a lot” that was said and once again admits that it “all makes sense”.
Evelyn, who has been watching the whole show from the sidelines with popcorn, says she wants to hear Tayla speak… and yes, let the girl speak!
“It really goes as far as, we’re friends… I saw his c**k,” Tayla admits casually and we are SCREAMING!
This is BLOODY GOOD TV.
“But, guys! It was funny!” Tayla says and Expert Mel says: “Oh, Tayla. This is so hard to watch.”
Upset, Lyndall admonishes Tayla and says it’s not, in fact, funny at all and Bronte calls it “disgusting”, while Tayla says: “But she doesn’t even go here!” or something like that. CHRIST.
“Yes, I saw his willy. Who cares?!” Tayla tells the producers. Everyone in Australia cares. That’s who. Before she admits that she “liked it”.
Tayla, who has lost the plot, reveals they FaceTime every damn day
Then there was this piece of information. Apparently, Tayla and Cam FaceTime everyday, so obviously she’s seen his pee-pee more than once… But, defending her actions, she adds: “I don’t actually know Lyndall.” NOT THE POINT, SIS.
“It’s not like I’m backstabbing a friend. Like, I don’t know her.”
Excuse me, but where is HUGO? Is he even there still??
Anyway, Cam finally admits to… checks notes… being in a nightclub with all his clothes off and that he FaceTimed Tayla. Once again, we have so. many. questions….
“I don’t see what the f**king issue is,” Cam says.
At this point, every man at the table is embarrassed to be the same gender as him.
“I was naked in a nightclub in front of every man and his dog,” he adds and dude, WTAF?! WHY?!
Apparently, there was “no chatting” and he was “loyal” throughout the experiment.
“Can’t make an omelette without crackin’ a few eggs, can ya?!” he says for good measure.
Then, he is pulled in to talk to a producer. “I have moved on from this experiment.”
“Already?!” she says in disbelief. Wasn’t this filmed like a week after the experiment ended?!
“This was never a relationship. This was an experiment. I was never in a relationship… If you wanted a fairytale ending, get a job at Disneyland.”
Cam for Public Enemy #1.5! (Harrison still wins)
Lyndall takes the opportunity to roast Cam one final time
Oh wait, there’s more.
“That’s where I’m leaving it because no matter what you say, quite frankly, I don’t give a f**k anyway,” Cam tells the table. YUCK.
“I already knew you didn’t have respect for me,” Lyndall says before Cam bites back: “I lost respect for you at the start.” F**KING HELL.
While we still have the couch reunion, Lyndall has some parting words for her f**kwit of an ex-husband.
“This is my final chance to say exactly how Cam has made me feel,” she begins. “I’ve had to live with this person 24/7. I’ve had to have my hardest moments with him and have had very little support.
“I have thrown my heart out on the table trying to get this to work and I could never understand why it didn’t. But, I know now and I really shouldn’t try so hard to be with someone who doesn’t care whether they keep me or not.
“I know exactly who I am and what I deserve and that I’m so big and bright and bubbly and I’m worth listening to, I’m worth looking out for, I’m worth so much more.”
Harrison has receipts
Well, then. Now that the Cam/Lyndall/Tayla debacle has come to a close… we’ve still got thirty minutes to hear from Harrison. Fabulous. He has something to say about things he heard before he even entered the experiment.
“He looks like he’s quite primed for the drama tonight,” Expert Mel says as Harrison sports his famous goddamn smirk.
“Everyone is on the chopping block, it’s whether you can stand the heat,” he says.
“I’ve got quite serious concerns, bigger than everyone else’s drama,” he says.
Apparently, Bronte had messaged a girl he used to see before she came into the experiment.
Bronte gets on the front foot and tells the table that she messaged the girl before Harrison could say anything.
Not letting her speak, he calls it the “core issue” of why they broke up. Obviously, he was the reason but whatever.
“If you put half the effort that you put in this into yourself…” he says and the girls ERUPT.
Harrison claims she went “looking for something” to “attack” him at the reunion and basically, he has learned NOTHING.
Ollie, sweet, sweet Ollie: “In MAFS history, have ever seen someone use props?” Lol PROPS. We are dying.
“This is so ridiculous,” Ollie says reading said “prop”. And no truer words have ever been spoken on this show.
Not ONE person, besides ‘ol mate, could see the serious side to the “piece of paper”. DECEASED.
“I read the texts, they weren’t even that juicy. They weren’t even that good,” Duncan says. LOLOLOLOL.
RIP HARRISON. THIS IS TOO GOOD.
“I’m surprised he knows how to use a printer,” Melinda says and not one person will let Harrison speak.
Cam then turns the paper into an aeroplane and Ollie says he’s “tampering with evidence” before saying he wants to be “given the beat and I’ll rap it”. Honestly, this is GREAT. Truly, the funniest scene we’ve ever witnessed in MAFS.
Bronte then calls Harrison a “loser”. The end.
The MAFS cast seem to be getting on…well?! Oh.
Expert Mel then wants to take a moment to “appreciate the love in the room”. There’s not much of it, so the moment is over pretty quickly.
Alyssa then decides this is the perfect moment to rinse Duncan.
“He lies through his f**king teeth,” she says.
Alyssa accuses Duncan of Googling a response of what to say when breaking up with “a girlfriend”. The table goes silent.
“Oh, what did you say?” she asks him.
Duncan reveals that he had the audacity to apologise to Alyssa and if she would like to talk, he would “obviously” make himself available.
“So you do remember what I said,” he asks her.
“100%,” Alyssa says. Well, honey. Why are we talking about this?!
Alyssa, behaving like a petulant child, pretends she doesn’t remember and wants Duncan to share everything with the group. It’s painful to watch TBH.
Apparently, Alyssa didn’t reply to his olive branch, which makes HIM the villain.
Alyssa’s biggest issue was that Duncan had told her he was “committed” and wanted to “work through the issues with you”, even though, we ALL remember, SHE didn’t want to.
As Expert John points out: “She’s hurt and she’s lashing out…” DAH.
Alyssa breaks down and walks off… then comes back
The pair go round in circles, before Duncan asks what she wants to get out of the conversation.
“You dumped me, bro,” she says incredulously. “You broke MY heart.”
She then gets up, crying and says: “I sacrificed leaving my son for YOU”. Did you guys know Alyssa has a child?!
“I sacrificed everything for YOU,” she says, before Duncan says he wished there was a future for them. Well, not now though…bro.
She then walks off and then walks straight back in.
“I don’t want you to run the narrative,” she says before asking him at what point did he know it wasn’t going to work.
He tells her that it was great at the start and then it got “really hard” and said that he was very “expressive” with his concerns at the last dinner party.
“The last month of this experiment was not a healthy relationship,” he said, adding that he had to decide to “commit” or “not commit” and although she is “an amazing person”, they were not “made for each other”.
“I’m sorry that it didn’t work out,” he says. The whole room is once again silent until…..
“TAKE OFF THE MASK, DUNCAN!”
Christ on a stick, Alyssa.
“Be who you are, be authentic, be genuine. You wear this mask. You are not the person… it’s bullsh**.”
“Duncan, I don’t know who you are. I don’t know who you are. Be who you are!”
Alyssa then tells him to go live his “best single life” before saying that she was “never going to be good enough for him.”
“I hope he finds someone who is going to meet his expectations,” she says.
As people who go to therapy once a week, we can say this: Alyssa, go to therapy once a week, babes.
“I dodged a bullet,” she then says. Is this over?!
Ollie closes the evening by being… amazing
Ollie, sweet, sweet Ollie, calls the whole dinner party “Wimbledon” and is looking forward to having “referees in this joint”.
He then does his best Expert John impression and honestly, Ollie saved the evening.
Thank you, Ollie.
And that’s what you missed… it was A LOT.
Married at First Sight continues on Monday night with the final couch session.
Want to CHATTR with us? Follow us on Instagram and Facebook for more entertainment news.