The 81st Annual Golden Globe Awards began with a tumble off a cliff as comedian Jo Koy took to the stage for the first time as host, delivering a truly forgettable opening monologue.
Halfway through his speech, which fell flat at every moment, he said: “I got the gig ten days ago and you wanted a perfect monologue?”
While Koy revealed this was a “dream come true” for him, he also said it was for the entire room pointing out that Kevin Costner was here, who was “never in the room”.
When talking about getting the gig — which was given to him at the very last minute — he revealed he’d watched everything that had been nominated.
“I lied. I only watched Beef,” he said, giving a shout-out to the Netflix series.
Koy then poked fun at the length of Oppenheimer before saying that it was up against Barbie for Best Blockbuster; however, managed to piss off director Greta Gerwig by saying it was a film about “boobies”.
Elsewhere, he also asked Barry Keoghan where “his penis was seated”, referring to the final scene in Saltburn where he dances to Murder on the Dancefloor naked and when speaking of The Colour Purple, he threw shade at Ozempic, saying it turned your “a– hole the colour purple”.
Speaking of the hit Binge series Succession, he said it only taught him one thing.
“If you’re a billionaire, pull out. They’re not going to be like you.” Eeek.
Koy then called out Meghan Markle and Prince Harry for getting paid a ton to do “absolutely nothing” by his own streaming platform, Netflix.
One of the better moments was when the camera was on Meryl Streep, who was so freaking cute when Koy put the spotlight on her.
Frankly, it was terrible. WOW. And Twitter (X?!) hated it!