Latest Articles

Well, kids. Give yourself a pat on the back. We’ve made it to episode 36, a.k.a the FINAL Married at First Sight Australia 2023 episode, the Reunion Part Deux.

This year has seen some of the most chaotic gaslighting, narcism and drama we’ve ever seen on MAFS and that was just (~AlLEgeDly~) by Harrison…

And as the narrator reminded us: “Each participant came with the same dream…” to not be f**ked over on National Television.

Now, after weeks of Commitment Ceremonies, Dinner Parties, a Couples Retreat, partner-swapping, intimacy challenges and arguing, the EXPERIMENT (according to Cameron) came to an explosive end.

During this blessed episode, the Experts — John Aiken, Mel Schilling and Alessandra Rampolla, welcomed the 24 participants back to the couch to not only find out where they stand with another, but for John to rinse the Grooms one last time…

Here’s everything that happened during the MAFS Reunion

After watching a recap of ALL the weddings, it was time to get our first couple up to the couch. And spoiler alert. They are actually a couple.

Tahnee and Ollie — no notes

Golly gosh. These two.

Never in the experiment have we seen such a perfect couple grace our screens.

While Tahnee and Ollie swear they’ve had arguments, like all Insta-worthy couples, we got the highlight reel. But it’s OK, because they are goddamn perfect and are now officially boyfie and girlfie!

After being asked about the “status” of their relo (like they’ve just become FaceBook official in 2010) Tahnee and Ollie are soooooo ~HaPpY~!!

Then, after “quaking like a duck” during Final Vows, this year’s blessed pair announced they were in love. CUTE!

When asked by Expert Mel how she sees the future, Tahnee said that she was “excited” before Ollie revealed he was moving to Sydney.

“It’s daunting as hell, but there’s a part of me that’s in Sydney now, and that’s Tahnee,” he said. AWWWWW! There is LOVE all around.

While we likey them a lot, we know that this is NOT setting a standard for the rest of the evening…

Sandy and Dan face the Experts

We wonder if there’s an ocean somewhere Dan can run off to?

Expert John reveals that he was “disappointed” because they had “thought long and hard” about putting them together. Given the 2.5 seconds of screen-time that it took for them to decide on this couple, it was really sh** that they couldn’t make it work.

John then added that there was “a lot” that they liked about them as a couple and had been “excited”; however, the same could not be said for Sandy and Dan…

Firstly, Sandy is not made up of the ocean and secondly, Dan got with someone else from their wedding. LEL.

When asked why she thought they didn’t work, Sandy said: “Dan never came here with the right intentions,” while, butting in as per usual, Dan said: “Hand on heart, I did”…

But Dan, we all know that when someone says “hand on heart”, they’re crossing their fingers with the other one behind their back.

Sandy thinks that Dan would have tried harder if he actually meant it, but he was adamant there were “a lot of differences”.

Expert John then decides to bring up the goddamn boys night which implicated both Hugo and Dan — dredging up the butt dial which may or may not have happened.

The infamous butt-dial was dredged up and Expert John had receipts

First we were shown old footage of Evelyn talking to Rupert about the infamous butt dial and then more clips of the godforsaken Dinner Party, which we already had to witness…

Bu– WAIT. A SECOND. What’s this?! Expert John a.k.a the real MVP of the season, has RECEIPTS and Dan is f**ked.

In a never-before-seen conversation, Hugo tells a producer that he didn’t want to “throw anyone under the bus”, before physically throwing Dan under said bus.

“Dan was saying, ‘I can’t stand her, but I keep saying yes to try and make it to the end..,'” Hugo reveals, adding that Dan had also said: “She is the last person I’d be attracted to, she’s 100% not my type. All that kind of stuff.”

After the revelation was over and an excruciating ad break, Dan was NOT happy, Jan Hugo and was ready to throttle his fellow Groom.

“Holy sh**,” Lyndall says. And HOLY SH** is right!

Dan stares at Hugo for an uncomfortable amount of time before Sandy says: “Stop looking at Hugo. I know what you’re doing. Stop intimidating him!”

Wishing the ocean would bring a wave that would engulf his entire body, Dan protested: “No, I’m not.”

Sandy then says that she has dealt with him for “two months” (is it just us, or does this timeframe keep changing?!) and added: “I know exactly what you do.” OOOOOOOOOFT.

“Nothing he does surprises me anymore, I’ve spent enough time with him,” she tells the Experts and sorry, is he on par with Cam and Harrison?!

Hugo explains what was said during the boys night out

Expert John, who has not cracked a smile, then throws Hugo under the bus, asking when this sh** was said.

“We were down at Opera Bar,” he says and don’t you dare bring a National Icon into this!!! Hugo then admits he led the charge bagging out his own bride Tayla with the full support of the other grooms, and Dan had said it was “Friends at First Sight”, which is weird because friends don’t behave like petulant children.

“You said you might have felt hard done by…” he says to Dan. The poor guy. He had to stammer through the confession he was forced to make on camera… the same place he admitted it the first time.

Dan does “not recall” being an ass**le

Expert John then asks Dan to come clean.

“I don’t recall saying it,” he says, lying through his teeth, before John interrupts him.

“When you say you ‘don’t recall’…”

“Word-for-word?” Dan asks. No, honey. Just make it up. 🙄

“When you say ‘you don’t recall’, that suggests it absolutely could have happened,” John says and man, he is sooooooo tired of their sh**.

Sandy then brings up the fact that Dan slept with her and while he spins some BS about “being connected”, she said that he knew what that meant for her, i.e. giving her false hope about a future together.

Dan’s alleged bedroom talk and John has had enough

Apparently he also said such charming things like: “I don’t understand why you only want to get intimate in the dark”, “I’m not vibing with this, Sandy” and this pearler: “I date girls who walk around in skimpy clothes.” F**KING HELL.

After denying everything, Claire pipes up: “Dan, just say sorry. Take some accountability. You’re a grown ass 48-year-old man. Act like it.”

Dan then says he was attracted to Sandy at first but then as they “continued to get to know each other”, that attraction “plateaued”. SHUT UP, DAN.

Then this from John: “Dan, I have sat here tonight counting the amount of times ‘no’ comes out of your mouth, and it is A LOT. It means, as a result of anything she says the first reaction from you is, ‘no’, it dismisses her… it invalidates her opinions and it makes her feel small and insignificant. I thought I better tell you that, because I don’t know whether you know that. It’s gotta stop.” JOHN AIKEN FOR THE GOLD LOGIE!!!!!!

“I didn’t realise,” Dan says. It’s called self-awareness, hun!

John then tells him to take a “better approach”.

Expert Mel then asks Sandy if she regretted coming into the experiment. While her parents didn’t support her decision, she did say that one of the “biggest takeaways” was seeing the love her parents gave her when she needed to be built back up.

“We wish you both the best for your future relationships,” Expert Mel then said through gritted teeth.

Melinda and Layton — the “power couple”

Melinda and Layton are next to take a seat on the couch, which is annoying because we all know how their story ended and this episode could have been 20 minutes shorter.

But instead, we have to hear their journey from hating each other, to liking each other, to loving each other and arguing everyday in between.

After replaying their ~jOuRnEy~ Expert Mel says their relationship has not been linear. “It’s been tough.” Noooo sh**.

Melinda says that when she didn’t feel the initial spark, she didn’t think Layton was her mans, however, apparently they are a “good example” of people who do the work and “get a happy ending”.

Layton thanks the Experts, while Melinda sees a future of marriage and kids with him.

Cute. NEXT!

Lyndall and Cam are up next and this should be…good

“We had such high hopes,” Expert John tells Lyndall and Cameron, before saying that after watching the Dinner Party the night before, that there was “a lot of pain” there.

He then asks Lyndall how she could possibly be sitting next to the man that was sexting Tayla. Apparently, being back in the room feels “painful”, however, Cameron has no feelings.

The former couple are then shown a package of their blossoming relo before the producer’s decide to smack Cam’s love of Tayla in their faces.

For Lyndall, the “worst part was watching the start”.

“All the affection stuff was there and then it wasn’t… I had a lot of hope for us,” she said. Didn’t we all!

Cam then said that because of the “pressure”, he felt like he was being someone “that I wasn’t”.

“I think that affection flows naturally when you’re falling in love with someone. I’m sorry to say, but I wasn’t!”

Lyndall then says it was “hurtful” because he should have told her he was feeling that way.

Expert Mel asks for clarification and Cam gives it in the only way he knows how

Expert Mel then asks for “clarification” on last night’s #Taylam debacle.

“I got me d**k out at a nightclub,” he says. Charming.

“Yes, so we understand,” Expert Mel says. “That wasn’t my question. But thanks for sharing!”

TBF, she didn’t really ask what clarification was needed…

Expert John:

Expert Mel then says she’s actually interested in the “nature” of his relo with Tayla. While we absolutely do not want to hear about this anymore… it looks like we have to.

Cam then says, once again, that there’s “nothing goin’ on there” and that it was a “piss take after Final Vows”.

Still uninterested that he was, in fact, naked in a nightclub, Expert Mel wanted to know why he was on the phone to Tayla.

“Because I’m mates with Tayla,” he says and bro. We did this last night.

“You are just trying to dig up… there’s nothing there,” he says.

Tayla basically outs them with one word. “Yet”

Then Expert Mel turns to Tayla…..

Tayla started strong, admitting that she “really likes” Cam…”as a friend” and this don’t look like you’re just friends!!

“It hasn’t been explored… yet,” Tayla says before realising that she’s outed them. “Not that it is going to be explored.”

“F**K,” Tayla says. “Oh, no!” LOL. BUSTED!!!!

Tayla then reveals that if Cam were in Tassie “then perhaps”, but we all know his love of Darwin would prevent this.

“Nail in the coffin,” Cam says. LOL. You’re damn right.

Lyndall then calls their relationship a “missing piece” and said her “gut” told her “there was something in that for sure”. Always trust yo gut, ladies (and gents)!

Cam reckons he wasn’t ready for a relationship and this could have been useful information

Cam then spouts more BS about not being ready for a relationship and “that’s the core of the issue right there.” WHAT IS IT WITH THESE MEN?!

Finally, Expert Alessandra says more than two words: “I so wish we’d all known that before going down this road for Lyndall,” she said before asking why Cam wanted to stay.

For some unknown reason he says: “The Final Vows said a lot.” BRO, that was AT THE END.

“There were parts where I wanted to stay and parts where I didn’t,” he said.

Lyndall, infuriated, said it was “incredibly hurtful” to which Cam replied: “I think not falling in love with someone is perfectly fine.” NOT THE POINT, BROSEPH!

“Your behaviour wasn’t fine,” she says.

Expert Mel then tells Cam he has had “quite a casual reaction to something that is quite deep and meaningful and it feels a little bit dismissive.”

“What? The way I’m sitting?!” he asks.

“No, not the way you’re sitting, MATE,” she says. MAAAAATE.

Lyndall then tells him that he’s had not much care for the way he has hurt her and then TELLS HIM TO “DO BETTER”! YESSSS, LYNDALL!!

“Be better,” she continues. “Have some f**king integrity.”

“Righto,” he says. “Rightio, gotcha.” F**KING HELL.

WHAT A WASTE OF TIME!

From Hell to Heller-er. Alyssa and Duncan are up next

After Alyssa and Duncan sit down on the couch, Expert Alessandra asks if Alyssa had time to “reflect” on the “emotion” from the FINAL final Dinner Party.

Once again, she talks about being “shocked” by Duncan ending their relationship.

Expert John then asks Duncan if it was “confronting” for him to see her so angry, and he said he “doesn’t hold anything against her”…. except for the fact that she goes for his “character”.

Duncan then tells the Experts that Alyssa told him to take his “mask off” and Layton’s reaction was excessive, given he was there when she said it.

Beating a dead horse, Alyssa reckons she said it because he “led” her through the experiment wanting to work it out, and because she “didn’t expect” to be dumped, she “didn’t know who he was”.

“That’s not fair,” Duncan says. “My heart was in it. I wanted it to work.”

Expert John then decides it’s a good time to recap their relationship.

All we hear is “I have a child” and “I can see you every day except Monday-Sunday”…

“It’s not everyday you can watch a whole relationship crumble in front of your face,” she said before saying that “she should have seen it coming”.

FINALLY, Alyssa was given the gift of awareness and said she shouldn’t have been so emotionally charged or walk away as much as she did.

“I do regret a lot of things,” and honestly, props to her for recognising this. “I never wanted to hurt Duncan, so I really am sorry.”

Duncan’s final words: “I’m sorry that it didn’t work out. We’re broken up but I still want to say that you’re an amazing woman…”

Ok, this wasn’t as dramatic as we thought it was gonna be. NEXT.

Like a knowing school teacher, Expert Mel calls Jesse and Claire to the couch

Firstly, can we just say that there’s only just under 23 minutes for Harrison to get his comeuppance, so we’re not sure why they’re focusing on these two, but anyway…

Claire admits she’s “nervous” and Expert Alessandra says the “energy and respect and love” is lovely, asking how on earth they made it here.

Crediting Jesse, Claire said “forgiveness is a choice” and that even though she goddamn kissed Adam, he respected her enough to explore things.

Expert John says Jesse seems like a “changed man”, and he admits he “could have thought more before speaking”.

The participants are then forced to watch the excruciating rollercoaster of their relationship and Claire says it was “really hard to watch”.

“I feel really disgusted in myself, in some of my behaviour. By lying, by gaslighting Jesse and telling him he has nothing to worry about, when I knew that he did. Yeh, it’s pretty sh**.”

Jesse admitted that he “liked” Claire enough to “get jealous”, “cry over the bad news” and “to forgive her to the point” which he did.

Then Expert John said: “Adam”

No thank you. We did not want anymore.

“Adam, when you watched that back. The betrayal, the deceit. What does that do to you?

“I did you dirty, the same with Janelle,” Adam said, apologising to Jesse.

Then, after 45 seconds, Jesse accepts the apology. Cool. But where is Expert John calling out Harrison?!

Even though he f**cking hated anything to do with spirituality and crystals, Jesse says that he’s learned to trust his intuition and also, that he “can be better” — which is more than we can say for Cam.

Even though he thought he was a good guy going into the experiment, now he knows he can be a “better guy!” We LOVE you, Jesse!

Claire says the experiment “shone a light” on her behaviours, that she was “seeking validation from outside sources” and that it’s “not the way to go about it.”

“The end of the experiment was the beginning of a new leaf and I want to be able to continue that.”

Claire then admits that she “loves who Jesse is as a person” and has “a lot of great feelings” about him.

THEN….

Jesse reveals that CLAIRE IS GOING TO GODDAMN PERTH and even Expert John was sah happy.

HOLY SH**T. That’s the end you guys.

THE ACTUAL END. Clearly John had no parting words for Harrison… which sucks, but cute they ended on a high note.

And after 36 episodes, Married at First Sight Australia 2023 has officially ended.

Until next year… and we are not ready.

Want to CHATTR with us? Follow us on Instagram and Facebook for more entertainment news.

It feels weird to be typing Married at First Sight Reunion Dinner Party, given that it feels like only yesterday we were subjected to Harrison and Bronte’s nuptials.

Yet, here we are. Back in a room with ALL the participants, ready to hear the good, bad and ugly come out of their mouths. And that’s just from Alyssa…

Beginning with a look at ~eVeRYthIng~ that happened during the experiment (i.e. the most traumatic recap of our lives), we saw faces we completely forgot existed.

Thankfully, Melinda and Layton and “our gorgeous Gen Z lovers” Tahnee and Ollie, are entering the Reunion Dinner Party still together. They’re all anticipating a sh** show. As are we.

But before the FINAL final sit down meal, we were transported to the cast hotel rooms (and there’s a lot of them, since everyone bar four people needed one of their own) where everyone was getting ready in slow-motion.

Melinda and Layton

First up, we are blessed with glowing Gods, Layton and Melinda.

“I feel like no one expected us to last,” Melinda says, but mostly Layton, who reacted like this:

According to the pair, the first week “out” as a couple IRL was very “testing”, however, they managed to move forward and now want to get a puppy together…

“I fall more in love with Melinda every day that we’re not arguing,” he says and LAWL because apparently it’s only “three or four” days out of seven that they like each other…

While Melinda calls Layton her “perfect man”, Layton calls her his “ball and chain”. Cute! They’re also looking forward to their future of fighting and sometimes being in love. Double cute!

Tahnee and Ollie

Onto our most beloved and the most golden of couples, Tahnee and Ollie, and they’ve had “their own revelation”.

“Newsflash!” Ollie says before Tahnee admits they’re moving in together. Firstly, we hope they find something bigger than Tahnee’s apartment… but also, it’s Sydney. So probably not.

Apparently, Ollie hates Tahnee’s use of emojis, which is hilarious because Ollie is a walking emoji…. but they are so damn sweet, dessert would be too much.

Bronte

Bronte is preparing herself for a “confrontational night”, calling the reunion “the most anticipated dinner party of all-time”. Frankly, we could think of better ones, but we know this is sure to go down in history. Plus, she’s dressed as a sexy sparkly lemon and we love this energy from her.

Bronte is also feeling “excited”, purely because she hasn’t spoken one word to her former TV husband.

“I’ve never been happier. It’s funny what happens when you drop dead weight!” she says…

Speaking of…

Harrison

Cue the villain score. Like Slim Shady, Harrison is back, “back again”.

“Who would have thought?” he says. Not us, bro and we truly didn’t ask for it….

Harrison thinks he’s walking in to the reunion “vindicated”, which is truly baffling since all of Australia can’t stand him.

“Bronte created the drama to be honest,” he says and NEXT.

P.S He was single at the time of filming — which obviously didn’t last long — since he now has a 21-year-old GF.

Evelyn

Evelyn has also decided to make an appearance and truly looks like a smoke-show.

“Tonight is going to be pretty epic,” she says and since she was featured after ol’ mate, we’re taking this as FORESHADOWING!

Oh, wait. She’s talking about “lingering emotions that have been built up”. Does she mean with Rupert? He said like two words… No, wait, we’re confused. They’re showing Janelle, Adam and Sandy and Dan (God, remember them?!)… so now we KNOW she is referring to EVERYONE.

“It’s like putting dogs on heat into a kennel,” she says. LEL.

Jesse

Purple wunderkind Jesse is ready to rock tonight, which is so goddamn nice for him.

“Claire and I have been talkin’ everyday,” he says, while looking bloody stoked.

“There’s definitely a part of me that misses Claire,” he says. “Maybe there’s still something there…”

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Alyssa and Duncan

“Time has not healed all wounds,” our narrator reveals. Alyssa is seething that Duncan didn’t want to work through their “issues”…probably because he tried to everyday, babes.

As if she wasn’t present at any moment during the passed three months, Alyssa says that Duncan “never told me ONCE that he was on the fence about our relationship”.

“I gave my heart to him on a platter and he just smashed it into a million pieces.” Okkkkk….

Alyssa then calls Duncan’s behaviour “disgusting”, saying that he needs to “take off that mask”. We vote against this, because… have you seen him?

Over in her ex’s room, Duncan says the complete opposite to what she accuses him of doing — talking badly about her behind her back.

“I won’t say a bad word about Alyssa,” he laments. “I will always have a soft spot for her,” before saying that the Final Vows were one of the “hardest decisions” of his life.

“She’s an amazing person,” he says… also as though he wasn’t present during the experiment.

“I’m really thankful for all those moments we had together. I just think there were a lot of things that weren’t right for the dynamic of our relationship.” 👀

Lyndall

We’re already 16:41 seconds in and not one person has sat down to dinner yet…

Obviously, Lyndall and Cam need their turn in the spotlight after their completely f**ked marriage and we are ready.

Oh shhhhhh**t. Lyndall has heard “bits and pieces of information that have completely changed” how she feels about the “entire” experience.

SIDE NOTE: Can we just take a moment to worship the stylists tonight?! The women look BAD-ASS! But especially Lyndall who is ready for war.

OH. MY. GOD.

Lyndall has heard from TWO different people that Cam and one “of the girls in the experiment” have been SEXTING AND SENDING GODDAMN NUDES. WHO Lyndall? WHO?! We MUST know.

“So many things are starting to make more sense,” she says.

During the recap of their rocky relationship, we see that Tayla and Cam hit it off over music.

“Tayla, she seemed very lovely,” Cam said after the Dinner Party where they ~connected~. OH MY WORD.

“He’s really nice, chatty. Genuine, kind of country boy, easy to talk to and I think we’ll both get along really well,” Tayla said at the time. Next to her husband, Hugo…👀

There was even footage of Lyndall telling Tahnee that Tayla was “into Cam, 100%”… how did we not see this?!

“This whole thing made me question everything that Cam said to me during the experiment,” she says. “Cam didn’t have the spine to say he wasn’t interested.”

Cam…and Tayla

Nek minute…

Producer: “So, are you seeing anyone?”

Cam: “I don’t want to give too much away. We’ll leave it at that.”

Cam, we have questions.

Does Tayla know you are a DIDO worker?! Does she know you don’t have access to your phone for up to an ENTIRE year and she won’t be able to sext you while you’re in your beloved Darwin?!

It’s time for the Married at First Sight Reunion Cocktail Party

“It’s the reunion, you guys. We’re finally here,” Expert Alessandra says. And, finally indeed. It’s already been 20 minutes of show time and we need sh*t to go down STAT.

Alessandra thinks there’s going to be some “positive evolution” because they’ve had time to reflect etc and she also clearly hasn’t been paying attention…

Expert John however, wants the couples to give each other “feedback”, which is completely dumb but we’re totally here for it.

Jesse is the first to arrive to a “fitting audience” to “welcome” him in all his “glory”. Lol. As Ollie would say, he’s “straight up vibin'”.

At least the Experts are thrilled to see him!

“This is the Jesse we LOVE to see,” Expert Mel says.

Sandy arrives next and she’s learned how to stand up for herself. Jesse tells her she’s kept in contact with Claire, while Lyndall wants to vomit in her rideshare.

Weirdly, the Experts are shocked that Cam is not with her, and Jesse reacts to the news of the sexting like this:

Lyndall thinks that Cam’s “lack of affection” was because of his texting prowess and it gave her a whole heap of “clarity”.

Jesse, who was in a ball of goddamn light, was devo by the news because his “hopes and dreams” of a fun and happy night, “were shot down pretty quick”.

Thankfully, Tahnee and Ollie enter.

“Yes!” Jesse says, all hope restored.

Alyssa still won’t stop banging on about Duncan

That’s it. That’s the whole sub-head.

“And she’s single,” Expert Mel says. No, sh*t.

Apparently Duncan has been living his “best single life” etc and Alyssa is f**king mad.

Meanwhile, Sandy, Tahnee and Lyndall are all like:

And then Duncan arrives… He says hi to everyone, including Alyssa, who is all like:

And the Experts are like:

Apparently, Duncan gives her “the ick” and she doesn’t want to sit next to him at the Dinner Party. You should just leave now, Alyssa. The Producer’s have set the place cards…

Melissa and Evelyn enter, before Claire arrives and Jesse turns the colour of a tomato. CUTE! They hug for what seems like hours.

Cam ignores Lyndall and Lyndall has A LOT to say

Back on the Cam train, Lyndall says he wants to tell Hugo about her ex and his ex, before Cam walks in looking a little “sheepish”. He then completely ignores Lyndall and Expert John is not impressed.

Ollie tells Cam he’s heard a lot of rumours about him and Tayla, with Cam confirming there’s “diddly squat” going on.

“Can’t a guy have mates who are chicks?” he asks and not mates you sext while in another relationship…

“It’s no one else’s smoke but mine,” he adds, and I believe the expression is: “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.”

Cam, while looking very guilty, doesn’t know where the information about this “whole Tayla thing” is coming from, but since he has the fear of God in his eyes, we know it’s 100000% true.

“It’s horses**t. The whole lot is horses**t.”

Saved by the mime.

Rupert has arrived, followed by Josh, Janelle, Adam, Caitlin, Shannon and Dan. Bronte enters next and says spending time away from her ex-husband has “put everything into perspective”.

Until Harry walks in.

“Bit chilly, the reception,” he says. 🙄

Melinda and Layton then enter hand-in-hand and Expert John says “it’s a great outcome”, with only a tiny bit of disbelief…

While Mel is thrilled that everyone is excited for her and her now boyfie, she notices the tension and dives straight into the gossip.

Hugo arrives feeling “good”…lol and the girls turn into detectives

Finally, Hugo enters the Cocktail Party and Cam says to him: “Ready for the smoke?” before completely avoiding saying anything about being a dirty dog.

Once he has said his hellos, Lyndall pulls Hugo aside and Cam begins to sh** himself.

“Cam has been sexting Tayla,” Lyndall tells Hugo.

“And it started in the experiment…”

Oh, deary me…

Hugo is hurt and wonders why even bothered.

“I thought I had a car that wouldn’t start, as it turns out, I wasn’t given the right keys,” he says. But also, why is Josh there?!

Hugo wants to know if Lyndall will talk to Tayla about the rumours and she says, she’ll probably be more “honest” about it than Cam.

The other women then put their detective eye-glasses on and say they’re ready to see how the sexters interact with one another.

And then trouble walks in, in the form of Tayla.

“Here she is,” Cam says… GUILTY. GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY!

Even the Experts are dying to see what happens… but not as much as Melinda, who has literal wine tea in her hand.

When Lyndall hugs Cam, all of the blood rushes to his head. GUILTY! And Expert Mel says it’s so goddamn “hurtful” that Cam hugged his sexting companion and not Lyndall.

Meanwhile, Tayla has no idea that EVERYONE knows. Melinda, who is literally Sherlock Holmes at this point, sees Tayla hug someone else before looking back at Cam. She then notices that Tayla “caressed Cam and kept walking.” GUILTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“I didn’t get a double caressing,” Melinda says. Well, she should have! She looks FIRE!

Tahnee tells Tayla about the rumours

“B**ch, get over here I need to talk to you,” Tahnee says to Tayla. “So, there’s rumours…You and Cam.”

“Yep,” Tayla says. Cool.

Tayla says that “nothing” is happening, which is such BS, before Tahnee grills her even more.

“Tayla, have you been sexting? The whole country I need to know.”

“Why is everyone doing this?” Tayla asks, and girl. It is PIPING HOT TEA. That’s why.

Ollie then questions why Tayla is going so red and she says: “Hang on a second, hey. Hey. Hey.”

Before… DINNER IS SERVED. F**king finally. We’re starving!!!!!!

Dinner is served with a side of DRAMA

Walking into the dinner party, Tayla wants to be swallowed up by the floor. “F**K,” she says, hyperventilating with fear.

“What I hope, is they’ll be open and honest about it,” Expert John says. LOL, have you met these people?

The participants go to find their place cards…but there are no place cards… a missed opportunity in our opinion. Meanwhile, Bronte is sitting opposite her arch nemesis (Harrison), and Duncan is sitting across from his (Alyssa).

Melinda then clinks her glass. While we think she’s about to make a toast, there is no toast. Instead: “I’d like to address the elephant in the room.” HERE WE GOOOOOOO….

The Experts are cackling because there are “a few elephants”, but we’d like to start with Cam and Tayla, plz.

“This sexting sh**,” Cam says defensively.

“So, let’s hear it,” Melinda says and YES, PLEASE. Let’s!

According to Cam, after the Final Vows, he went back home and engaged in “friendly banter with Tayla”. Define “friendly banter” for the court of opinion, plz Cam.

Apparently it was just “back-and-forth texting” and it “was nothing serious”, a “friendly chat” if you will.

“If you call that sexting, then sorry. I’ve sexted,” he says while adding that it shouldn’t be an “issue” if it happened outside the experiment.

“Correct,” Harrison says. Shut up, Harrison.

Lyndall says it does affect the people they were matched with, especially because they were both acting suss during the show.

Tayla:

Lyndall drops receipt after receipt

Lyndall then drops a bombshell.

“I know that they were talking before Final Vows,” she says because she SAW CAM TEXT TAYLA. WHAT?!?! THIS IS BRAND-NEW INFORMATION, LYNDALL.

Both Cam and Tayla continue to deny, deny, deny — but guys, the evidence is stacked up against you.

Alyssa then says that THEY ALL noticed something between Cam and Tayla, while Cam says that he hasn’t got any feelings…………………………….for Tayla.

Harrison, then interjects, even though not one person asked him, and says that he’s spoken to some of the girls from inside the experiment since leaving the show. Firstly, who the fork is being a traitor?! and secondly this:

“But, did you make jokes about having threesomes with those women while in the experiment?” Lyndall asks. Mate, she is sitting on a GOLDMINE.

Harrison: “diD CaM?!”

Lyndall: “YES.”

Sweet Ollie then throws Cam under the bus.

“I’ll verify. He did.” Sweet, sweet Ollie.

Cam, irate and GUILTY AF, then defends himself and says that he “makes jokes about everything” and threesomes aren’t a joke, Cam.

Even Harrison was rendered speechless.

Meanwhile, Miss Giggles a.k.a Tayla, couldn’t stop laughing. Weird flex, but OK….

“Whatever is going on between her and Cam, it doesn’t seem appropriate,” Expert John says. DAH.

Tayla admits to something HUGE or small…depending on who you ask…

“I mean, I’d be keen,” Tayla says before adding: “Joking, joking”. Now’s not the time, beb.

Lyndall then reveals that there was “a lot” that was said and once again admits that it “all makes sense”.

Evelyn, who has been watching the whole show from the sidelines with popcorn, says she wants to hear Tayla speak… and yes, let the girl speak!

“It really goes as far as, we’re friends… I saw his c**k,” Tayla admits casually and we are SCREAMING!

This is BLOODY GOOD TV.

“But, guys! It was funny!” Tayla says and Expert Mel says: “Oh, Tayla. This is so hard to watch.”

Upset, Lyndall admonishes Tayla and says it’s not, in fact, funny at all and Bronte calls it “disgusting”, while Tayla says: “But she doesn’t even go here!” or something like that. CHRIST.

“Yes, I saw his willy. Who cares?!” Tayla tells the producers. Everyone in Australia cares. That’s who. Before she admits that she “liked it”.

Tayla, who has lost the plot, reveals they FaceTime every damn day

Then there was this piece of information. Apparently, Tayla and Cam FaceTime everyday, so obviously she’s seen his pee-pee more than once… But, defending her actions, she adds: “I don’t actually know Lyndall.” NOT THE POINT, SIS.

“It’s not like I’m backstabbing a friend. Like, I don’t know her.”

Excuse me, but where is HUGO? Is he even there still??

Anyway, Cam finally admits to… checks notes… being in a nightclub with all his clothes off and that he FaceTimed Tayla. Once again, we have so. many. questions….

“I don’t see what the f**king issue is,” Cam says.

At this point, every man at the table is embarrassed to be the same gender as him.

“I was naked in a nightclub in front of every man and his dog,” he adds and dude, WTAF?! WHY?!

Apparently, there was “no chatting” and he was “loyal” throughout the experiment.

“Can’t make an omelette without crackin’ a few eggs, can ya?!” he says for good measure.

Then, he is pulled in to talk to a producer. “I have moved on from this experiment.”

“Already?!” she says in disbelief. Wasn’t this filmed like a week after the experiment ended?!

“This was never a relationship. This was an experiment. I was never in a relationship… If you wanted a fairytale ending, get a job at Disneyland.”

Cam for Public Enemy #1.5! (Harrison still wins)

Lyndall takes the opportunity to roast Cam one final time

Oh wait, there’s more.

“That’s where I’m leaving it because no matter what you say, quite frankly, I don’t give a f**k anyway,” Cam tells the table. YUCK.

“I already knew you didn’t have respect for me,” Lyndall says before Cam bites back: “I lost respect for you at the start.” F**KING HELL.

While we still have the couch reunion, Lyndall has some parting words for her f**kwit of an ex-husband.

“This is my final chance to say exactly how Cam has made me feel,” she begins. “I’ve had to live with this person 24/7. I’ve had to have my hardest moments with him and have had very little support.

“I have thrown my heart out on the table trying to get this to work and I could never understand why it didn’t. But, I know now and I really shouldn’t try so hard to be with someone who doesn’t care whether they keep me or not.

“I know exactly who I am and what I deserve and that I’m so big and bright and bubbly and I’m worth listening to, I’m worth looking out for, I’m worth so much more.”

Harrison has receipts

Well, then. Now that the Cam/Lyndall/Tayla debacle has come to a close… we’ve still got thirty minutes to hear from Harrison. Fabulous. He has something to say about things he heard before he even entered the experiment.

“He looks like he’s quite primed for the drama tonight,” Expert Mel says as Harrison sports his famous goddamn smirk.

“Everyone is on the chopping block, it’s whether you can stand the heat,” he says.

“I’ve got quite serious concerns, bigger than everyone else’s drama,” he says.

Apparently, Bronte had messaged a girl he used to see before she came into the experiment.

Bronte gets on the front foot and tells the table that she messaged the girl before Harrison could say anything.

Not letting her speak, he calls it the “core issue” of why they broke up. Obviously, he was the reason but whatever.

“If you put half the effort that you put in this into yourself…” he says and the girls ERUPT.

Harrison claims she went “looking for something” to “attack” him at the reunion and basically, he has learned NOTHING.

Ollie, sweet, sweet Ollie: “In MAFS history, have ever seen someone use props?” Lol PROPS. We are dying.

“This is so ridiculous,” Ollie says reading said “prop”. And no truer words have ever been spoken on this show.

Not ONE person, besides ‘ol mate, could see the serious side to the “piece of paper”. DECEASED.

“I read the texts, they weren’t even that juicy. They weren’t even that good,” Duncan says. LOLOLOLOL.

RIP HARRISON. THIS IS TOO GOOD.

“I’m surprised he knows how to use a printer,” Melinda says and not one person will let Harrison speak.

Cam then turns the paper into an aeroplane and Ollie says he’s “tampering with evidence” before saying he wants to be “given the beat and I’ll rap it”. Honestly, this is GREAT. Truly, the funniest scene we’ve ever witnessed in MAFS.

Bronte then calls Harrison a “loser”. The end.

The MAFS cast seem to be getting on…well?! Oh.

Expert Mel then wants to take a moment to “appreciate the love in the room”. There’s not much of it, so the moment is over pretty quickly.

Alyssa then decides this is the perfect moment to rinse Duncan.

“He lies through his f**king teeth,” she says.

Alyssa accuses Duncan of Googling a response of what to say when breaking up with “a girlfriend”. The table goes silent.

“Oh, what did you say?” she asks him.

Duncan reveals that he had the audacity to apologise to Alyssa and if she would like to talk, he would “obviously” make himself available.

“So you do remember what I said,” he asks her.

“100%,” Alyssa says. Well, honey. Why are we talking about this?!

Alyssa, behaving like a petulant child, pretends she doesn’t remember and wants Duncan to share everything with the group. It’s painful to watch TBH.

Apparently, Alyssa didn’t reply to his olive branch, which makes HIM the villain.

Alyssa’s biggest issue was that Duncan had told her he was “committed” and wanted to “work through the issues with you”, even though, we ALL remember, SHE didn’t want to.

As Expert John points out: “She’s hurt and she’s lashing out…” DAH.

Alyssa breaks down and walks off… then comes back

The pair go round in circles, before Duncan asks what she wants to get out of the conversation.

“You dumped me, bro,” she says incredulously. “You broke MY heart.”

She then gets up, crying and says: “I sacrificed leaving my son for YOU”. Did you guys know Alyssa has a child?!

“I sacrificed everything for YOU,” she says, before Duncan says he wished there was a future for them. Well, not now though…bro.

She then walks off and then walks straight back in.

“I don’t want you to run the narrative,” she says before asking him at what point did he know it wasn’t going to work.

He tells her that it was great at the start and then it got “really hard” and said that he was very “expressive” with his concerns at the last dinner party.

“The last month of this experiment was not a healthy relationship,” he said, adding that he had to decide to “commit” or “not commit” and although she is “an amazing person”, they were not “made for each other”.

“I’m sorry that it didn’t work out,” he says. The whole room is once again silent until…..

“TAKE OFF THE MASK, DUNCAN!”

Christ on a stick, Alyssa.

“Be who you are, be authentic, be genuine. You wear this mask. You are not the person… it’s bullsh**.”

“Duncan, I don’t know who you are. I don’t know who you are. Be who you are!”

Alyssa then tells him to go live his “best single life” before saying that she was “never going to be good enough for him.”

“I hope he finds someone who is going to meet his expectations,” she says.

As people who go to therapy once a week, we can say this: Alyssa, go to therapy once a week, babes.

“I dodged a bullet,” she then says. Is this over?!

Ollie closes the evening by being… amazing

Ollie, sweet, sweet Ollie, calls the whole dinner party “Wimbledon” and is looking forward to having “referees in this joint”.

He then does his best Expert John impression and honestly, Ollie saved the evening.

Thank you, Ollie.

And that’s what you missed… it was A LOT.

Married at First Sight continues on Monday night with the final couch session.

Want to CHATTR with us? Follow us on Instagram and Facebook for more entertainment news.