63 thoughts I had watching Riverdale for the first time

Riverdale has kind of taken over the world, but it seems like as the seasons go on, people seem to hate it more and more. With a cute cast based off some well-loved comic books, surely it can’t be that […]

Riverdale has kind of taken over the world, but it seems like as the seasons go on, people seem to hate it more and more. With a cute cast based off some well-loved comic books, surely it can’t be that bad. I decided to watch the first episode and find out for myself. Here are 68 thoughts I had while watching Riverdale for the first time:

  1. Is that Cole Sprouse?cole sprouse riverdale GIF by NETFLIX
  2. Wow, I love spooky red-heads.
  3. Wow, the spooky red-heads are kind of creepy.
  4. Okay, Cole Sprouse is really sweet.
  5. God, it’s the first episode and it’s already so dramatic.
  6. Why does this feel like Gossip Girl?archie andrews no GIF by The Paley Center for Media
  7. Okay, wow, this new girl kind of sucks already.
  8. Is looking through the window at people getting changed cool now?
  9. Wait, how old are these people?
  10. I love teen-angst.
  11. Wait, what’s that movie where the dude can’t sing because he plays sport?get the game GIF
  13. Yeah, I don’t like this new girl.riverdale GIF by Netflix Philippines
  14. I love literary references.
  15. Wait! It’s High School Musical. So far, this is High School Musical, without the musical.pink se achando GIF
  16. How is Betty’s room so big?
  17. Yeah, that mum sucks.season 2 episode 4 riverdale over it alice GIF
  18. It’s Zack from 13 Reasons Why!
  19. God, jock-dudes suck.
  20. “Did you tap some cougar arse this summer?” is the worst line of dialogue I’ve ever heard coming from a fictional 16/17-year-old.amino riverdale GIF
  21. Okay, I Googled it. They’re supposed to be 15 or 16. Oh my God. I’m embarrassed for them.
  22. Did she just ask if there are any night clubs? She’s just a baby. What. Are. You. Doing?
  23. Are we cool with the “you’re gay so we must be best friends” thing? Ughhh.
  24. Veronica sucks.camila mendes seriously GIF
  25. I think this is just High School Musical.
  26. “Justin Gingerlake” is the best thing I’ve heard in this show.
  27. Okay, teacher/student relationships need to stop.
  28. YEAH, THEY REALLY NEED TO STOP.miss grundy riverdale GIF
  29. HE IS 15, MISS GRUNDY. 15.
  30. I get that they look the same age, but I’m still really
  31. How am I only 15 minutes in?
  32. Veronica really thinks she’s cooler than these guys.
  33. Yeah, narcissist is the word.
  34. Cheryl already sucks (but she’s gorgeous, wow).
  35. Okay, yeah, alright. Veronica isn’t that bad.
  36. The guys I went to school with did not look like that at 15.
  37. Okay. So Jason didn’t just drown? Big shocker.
  38. Why does this feel like Bring It On? But worse.
  39. Why are Veronica and Betty making out? What was the point of that?.
  42. Archie is sweet, but he’s no Troy Bolton.
  43. Oh God. I feel so bad for Betty, all the time.
  44. Did she say “Archikins”? Stop.ridiculous camila mendes GIF by Netflix Philippines
  45. This mother is the worst. Shut. Up.
  46. This is so cliché. “I can’t do the thing I love because dad wants me to do something else, and also sport.” Bleh.
  47. The big posters of Jason are really something
  48. God, Veronica is the least subtle person ever.camila mendes riverdale GIF
  49. Archie has more confidence than any 15-year-old I’ve ever met.
  50. Playing the song their parents were listening to when they were conceived? Okay. That’s weird.
  51. Seven minutes in heaven? What year is it? I’m uncomfortable.
  52. Yeah, no, I was right. Veronica sucks. I get that he’s not keen, but wow, dog move.
  53. Wait, did they have sex? I thought they just made out but his bowtie is undone… Is that the implication?
  54. Okay, as long as Veronica knows that she’s a shit friend.camila mendes riverdale GIF
  55. Finally – Cole Sprouse.
  56. Okay but what kind of a name is Jughead? What’s his actual name?
  57. But he’s a writer? Love it. What a beautiful man.
  58. Jughead is my favourite character so far.season 2 riverdale GIF
  59. Geez, what did Archie do to Jughead?
  60. “I’ll never be good enough for you” is the worst excuse ever.
  61. “I’m not gay,” okay, sure man.
  62. Yeah, wow, dramatic as hell.
  63. Oh God, I see how they got three seasons out of this.

Final thoughts

It’s like High School Musical meets Gossip Girl, but they’re 15 (and there’s a murder?). It’s dramatic af (and is nowhere near as good as The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina), but overall, it’s not as bad as I thought. But… I can’t say I’ll continue watching it.




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