Chances are you have already experienced heartbreak and you’ve gravitated towards this article because you’re wondering what can help. Or, you’re a veteran in the break-up department and you feel you’ve already tried various ways to deal with it.
There’s one big question that love doctors are asked: is there an antidote or quick fix to heartbreak?
The answer won’t be the same for all because everyone is unique and deals with it differently. That’s not to say I know it all either, because I don’t. I went to my trusty comrades to give me their secrets and insights into curing heartbreak.
In my opinion, there are only two possible cures. One is obviously time, but the other is the gradual realisation that there were red flags that you never noticed when you were blinded by your love for them. Then you get to the part where you laugh at yourself for ever loving someone so wrong for you, and it’s kind of cathartic.
In general, I’d say that the frustration of heartbreak for women in their early twenties is that we are probably more mature than men at this point, and we don’t give up on difficult situations as easily.
The only cure is time. Often people feel angry with themselves for being silly enough to ignore all the warning signs. Even well after heartbreak, it can be destructive for someone to think that way and start to blame themselves.
Nothing cures heartbreak. It doesn’t matter how much you try to sugar coat it. People may say “time will heal” or “you will find someone way better”, but since that special person occupied a major spot in your heart for a period of time, all the experiences and memories with that person make you feel drained you whenever you think about them. That’s something you cannot just erase or delete.
Yes, feelings may go away with time, but all those memories would always come back to haunt you. Yes, maybe you can be friends again! Cool. However, when you see your ex-partner happy with a new person and you can only pretend to be happy for them, it sucks. Especially when you miss them from the bottom of your heart. My advice? Just go with the flow, be yourself and let the next exciting thing come to you. You deserve better.
What worked for me was doing things that you never had time to do when you were with the other person because you were too busy putting their needs first. Basically, you need to learn how to be you again. Also, not jumping into something else too quickly hoping it will fix it all is something I’d recommend.
Heartbreak consumes you, eats you and chips away at your soul. It makes you question everything, miss what you had, makes you long for the past and want to get on your knees and beg for that part of your life back. You want to cry in the arms of your former lover and say how sorry you are and how much you miss them.
What we (as society) call heartbreak seems to be a clichéd idea of how we’re supposed to feel when rejected. It’s supposed to hurt and we are expected to hurt in a certain way. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but I find it discordant with the type of hurt that I feel when rejected by someone. I’ll admit I’m a bit of an empath, and I’m quick to love when it feels right (and I let myself feel and express, rather than stifle it into small outbursts when “acceptable” if that makes sense).
Heartbreak implies something shattering: a cracking; a split. It brings images to mind of glass cracking or a bowl shattering. But what I feel is more of a melting. A long oozing of molten feeling leaking out of the patchwork holes of my heart until it’s empty. Then I can begin to put plasters on those holes, board up the cracks, and so on.
I don’t think my heart is every truly empty of this warmth. With every hole I patch up I can love again a little more and more until eventually I’m back to where I was. Is this a vicious cycle? Probably. Is that a bad thing? I don’t think so.
What are your thoughts on heartbreak? Is there a cure? Tell us in the comments below!
*All names have been changed to protect the privacy of participants.