When I finished my bachelor’s degree, I thought that the world was going to be sunshine and rainbows. Instead, I’m witnessing the gloriousness of the day through my office desk with the looming pressure of deadlines and WIP documents that have not been completed, and my supervisor is about to beat my ass because of it.
But what nobody tells you when you graduate university is that even that dream (of being stressed out, daydreaming outside your window) is a fantasy at this point. I’m sitting at home scrolling through the most important and engaging social media platform on the planet, LinkedIn, in an attempt to whore myself out to any bidder available.
I find myself applying for every job that comes up and then letting go of the opportunities that are given to me. I realise that I may sound conceited, privileged or unthankful, but I want to find something that fits me. However, after every click of my mouse, I find that every company is looking for 3+ years’ experience for their ENTRY LEVEL roles. Oh sorry, my bad that I didn’t get experience while I was studying full time, doing internships to find out what I truly like, have a casual job and a social life consisting of sleeping because I’m knackered from all the other work. I’m also not going to compromise my authenticity by going into a job that I’m not willing to pour my heart and soul into. It would be disingenuous coming from me, like how I don’t tell people that I eat like five Freddos a day.
I find myself applying for everything I can but can’t bring myself to reply to opportunities that reply to me if I don’t genuinely want them. I don’t want to seem ungrateful for getting opportunities but I’m attempting to find the right fit for me (it’s just another way of saying that I’m lazy and have trouble with commitment – sorry to all the boys that I’ve blocked on Grindr because you’ve been clingy xx). I just want to find something that I find intriguing, challenging and within my interests. Would it not seem a little disingenuous of me to say to a potential employer that I’m hella excited about a role when I’m really not vibing it?
I want to work somewhere that inspires me which shows how naïve I truly am. I probably have an entitled personality to some degree but I’m not going to settle for a job that doesn’t fit me like a glove. Then again, they say that the journey is more valuable than the destination. Then again, those people have probably never flown on a 20-hour flight or tried to find a media, marketing or public relations job in Sydney after completing university.
So, what do I do while at home, full-time jobless? I job search wearing my PJs in bed, with my breakfast waffles, tea, and my dog lying on my lap. I continue to scroll through LinkedIn ads, writing pretentious cover letters to make myself feel some kind of self-worth while my procrastination creeps into my house like a stalker as I apply and sign my life away. I didn’t think graduating would be like this.
My favourite post-degree activities at the moment are a) justifying my degree (still) to my friends and b) people always asking me what I’m doing next. This is helping me perfect my art of lying about what I’m going to do with my life by saying I have everything planned out when in reality I have no clue what underwear I will be wearing tomorrow nor what I’ll be having for dinner in an hour. I call it spontaneity, others call it laziness. It’s a day to day life that I lead.
In all honesty, it’s not that bad not having a full-time job, I’m living a great life watching anime in my PJs and being up to date with my clothes washing schedule which is very, very therapeutic; it’s the only thing I can actually keep up to date with now. But as the looming threat of my society pressuring me to use my degree blossoms into a toxic wildflower like the ones from Jumanji, I will digress and will have to take something up soon before I am swallowed by the stigma of not being able to even get a job in general.
Featured image via Unsplash.