Ahhh Halloween. As a kid, it’s the perfect excuse to dress up scary and eat enough candy to keep your dentist paying off their holiday home. As an adult, it’s the perfect excuse to pretend lingerie is costume and get so drunk you make friends with a goon bag.
Halloween costumes are actually a pretty big business. Without fail each year costumers offer up some truly spectacular sexy costume fails. Forget bevvies and sweets – these “sexy” costumes are definitely the best part of Halloween. And 2016 has some real crackers.
Sexy Poop Emoji
Pretty sure this guy is in nearly everyone’s ‘most recent’ emoji list. The happy poop emoji actually has a bit of a history if you know about Japanese culture, and I’m sure he’s super happy to be finally breaking into the costume market. It’s hardly the classiest costume, but to be honest of all the costumes on this list, it’s the one I’d most likely wear. Everybody poops!
If you put 2 and 2 together here, you can probably work out who the “Donna T. 2.0” and “Capitol Hill” costumes are supposed to be (thanks trademark laws). You know you’ve truly made it as a politician when you’ve got your very own sexy Halloween costume. Really, really hoping no one feels obliged to a make a sexy Pauline Hanson costume though. Plz no.
OK so yes technically this costume is just called “Sexy Gorilla Costume” on Amazon.com, but I can 100% guarantee you only one gorilla could ever be called sexy. RIP buddy :'(
Parisian Heist Robbery Victim Costume
I can thankfully confirm this costume has now been pulled by its stockist Costumeish.com. WHICH IS BLOODY GOOD BECAUSE WTF?! Even if you’re not a fan of Kim Kardashian it’s totally abhorrent to make light of ANYONE being robbed at gunpoint.
Sexy Undecided Voter
Ken Bone. It’s Ken Bone everybody. The guy who asked “What steps will your energy policy take to meet our energy needs while at the same time remaining environmentally friendly and minimizing job layoffs?“, during the October 9 presidential debate. Within days Ken had his very own sexy Halloween costume. I sincerely hope he decides to go as himself this year.