I can’t seem to escape the constant stream of posts about Game of Thrones all over social media – so, I’ve decided to finally jump on the bandwagon and watch the first episode of season 1. Here is a list of fifty thoughts I had watching the first episode unfold:

1. Wow these go for a whole hour?
2. I have that anxious sense that something is going to jump out and scare me
3. Oh charming, severed heads and limbs
4. WHO IS THAT SCARY DOLL CHILD?
5. They all have lovely furry coats
6. How do dead people move? Where did they go?
7. The music in this show is so suspense building. I’m still really scared
8. That blue-eyed monster is horrifying
9. Creepy doll child girl is back and as terrifying as ever

   

10. Oh, damn that was violent – are severed heads a theme in this show?
11. I do not condone these gender stereotypes – what year is this based in?
12. Haha. I relate to the kid who can’t shoot the arrow (Bran)

    

13. “Winter is coming”: is that this Ned guy’s motto? Or is he just commenting on the weather?
14. I can’t believe they’re going to kill the poor sod who escaped those zombie creatures
15. White walkers? Nope, pretty sure they’re zombies
16. I may have audibly screamed at the abrupt decapitation of the head – I suppose it is a theme of the show
17. More death, lots of dead things in this show and I’m only 15 mins in
18. I reckon I should start this again and count how many dead bodies appear in an episode
19. Fucking boars and hunting whores, that’s a great line!
20. Old gods? Which belief system are we talking about?
21. Wow I can’t believe they used to shave with an actual knife, not great if you get the shakes when you’re anxious
22. I’m predicting the King is going to die purely because he’s puffed after like four steps
23. Arranged marriage? How old is the poor girl, 13?
24. That lady of the night must have hurt her back getting down low enough to give head to a dwarf
25. Also, why is she fully nude besides a black belt? Confusing
26. Tyrion 100% cannot satisfy all those women
27. Oh, Daenerys is one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever laid eyes on
28. Ahahaha “awake the dragon”, who the heck does he think he is?
29. Ew, they’re related, and he stripped her off, what is wrong with this cretin?
30. She looks so sad, I want to protect her
31. He’s going to give his sister to people who sleep with horses? He needs to reevaluate his decisions
32. AH HA! I KNEW SHE DIDN’T WANT TO MARRY HIM
33. I hope this horrible brother gets beheaded or WORSE
34. Joffrey is the DUMBEST name ever
35. Sansa hasn’t even met this prat and she wants to marry him just to be a Queen – what’s a nicer word for stupid?
36. So far, Jon Snow and Arya are my faves
37. Am I the only one who thinks its super mean they’re not letting Jon at the celebration
38. Such a smug face on that Joffrey kid, I really hate him, and he still hasn’t even spoken a word
39. The Lannisters seem shady
40. I reckon they murdered Jon Arryn
41. Do Daenerys and Drogo even speak the same language?
42. Okay, this show has dragons. Nice. 
43. Aww, a pretty horse is much better than a box of snakes for a wedding present
44. Please tell me Drogo is not going to make Daenerys have sex on rocks. That’s not even a little bit romantic
45. If a woman is crying, she’s not giving consent
46. This poor Daenerys girl is being used by all the men and I’m furious about it
47. So, this Ned bloke is putting the life of a fat king before his own family? A loyal friend, but worst husband and father ever
48. Wait! The Queen and her brother are having sex! INCEST IS A LITTLE TOO MESSED UP FOR A FIRST EPISODE!
49. I can’t believe that disgusting prick just pushed a child off a building!50. Naturally it ended with a cliffhanger, so I have to watch the second episode now.