When watching a ‘love story’ or ‘love drama’ movie, many of us girls find ourselves mirroring Elle Woods in Legally Blonde: post-breakup, binge watching sappy love movies and devouring our weight in chocolate.
Admittedly, the majority of us are probably crying over the lack of men with stereos standing on our front lawn, throwing rocks at our windows or sending us dozens of roses proclaiming their undying love (seriously, flowers die in three days’ tops – chill.)
This caused me to question – what gives us ladies these high expectations of men, that our modern man clearly cannot live up to? After careful consideration, I’ve come to the conclusion that John Green and Nicholas Sparks have a lot to answer for. Love movies, or “chick flicks” portray a knight in shining armour who comes to whisk away plain Jane or the girl next door, but in reality most of us don’t even get a text back.
So, I’ve decided if you can’t beat the single blues – rather than join them, why not make fun of them? Here are the top 5 most HORRIBLE life lessons you could possibly absorb from our most beloved Rom-coms and Chick Flicks.
- True love is in the heart of consistent deceit and carefully thought out lies.
The culprit: How to lose a guy in 10 days
In this 2003 film, a journalist in the desperate search for a great article, decides to begin an experiment on how to lose a man in only ten days. Conveniently, the guy she chooses to test her theory on is also trying to prove the point that he can charm any woman into love. In the end they fall in love (of course) and all ends well, because apparently lies and deceit are the foundation for a solid, and trustworthy relationship. Who knew?!
- Hang from a Ferris wheel until she agrees to go out with you (while sitting next to another man)
The culprit: The Notebook
Probably one of the most talked about, and cliché chick flicks, The Notebook is a tale of two young lovers who are complete opposites and spend 95% of the film arguing with each other. Although the intention of Noah’s character is to be incredibly romantic and spontaneous, I can’t help but find his actions borderline stalker-alert. Early on in the film he hangs from a Ferris wheel at a fair, demanding Allie go on a date with him numerous times and threating to let go and fall to his death until she agrees. “I have no other choice” – I could think of many other choices Noah, just saying.
Then after many years apart Noah explains that he wrote to Allie 365 times, because you know, if she didn’t respond after the first letter why not try 364 more times?
<p style=”text-align: justify;”>In the end, of course, they end up together and die hand in hand as an elderly couple. Moral of the story: harass the girl until she decides to date you …or gets an AVO, either way.
- Bad boys change, you should definitely have sex with him and ignore his reputation
The culprit: Dirty Dancing
Dirty Dancing is right up there with The Notebook as one of those well-known chick flicks where the idea of falling in love overrules any other life objective. In the film, Baby hears that Johnny sleeps around, especially with married women, but within days of meeting she hops into bed with him and convinces herself that she loves him. Of course, the love is then reciprocated (cause all it takes is one blonde stranger for a guy to change his ways.)
In real life we all know Johnny wouldn’t have called Baby back, and she would have been binge watching Netflix for a good four days straight wondering what went wrong. Hmm, I wonder?
- If a guy treats you badly, it’s because he loves you
The culprit: Twilight
There’s a reason “better love story than Twilight” is a catch phrase frequently posted on social media. In this absurd love movie Edward, who turns out to be a vampire, attracts Bella, who is strangely drawn to his creepiness and stalking stares. Of course she’s in love with him instantly, and how does he react? He’s blatantly rude to her, then days after deciding he doesn’t loathe her anymore, he acknowledges her existence and explains that he has murdered humans in the past, wants to drink her blood, and originally wanted to kill her. Talk about make a girl feel special!
In Twilight this means love, but in reality if a guy is treating you badly, is literally repulsed by the sight of you and acts like he cannot stand you, he probably can’t. The idea that if you put up with horrendous treatment from a male, eventually you will be rewarded with his undying love is ridiculous, and unfortunately constantly advertised by chick flicks.
5. You do love that stranger enough to give up everything! Don’t listen to common sense
The culprit: The Titanic
In the typical chick flick fashion, once again opposites attract as poor boy Jack and rich girl Rose fall in love after only a few days upon the Titanic. Perhaps it was the sketchbook of naked girls that Jack had drawn that encouraged Rose to have sex with him, decide to leave everything behind including money, family and her fiancé (yes, she was already engaged) and live penniless by his side. But whatever it was, she was convinced quickly, despite him never telling her he loved her too.
Sadly, this movie ends with Rose taking up all the room on the floating door and leaving Jack to die in the freezing cold water. So unfortunately,
she couldn’t give up her life to be with a stranger she met on a boat, or move over that extra inch to save him for that matter.
Moral of the story: although all of these hyped up expectations exist in movie-love-land, that’s primarily where they stay and can only remain. If you’re looking for love avoid stalkers, strangers, abusive men, bad boys, and liars – maybe chick flicks are able to teach us something after all.