“Do You Have a Moment to Talk About Our Lord and Saviour …Veganism?”

Disclaimer: This article in no way places judgment on the lifestyle choices of those who are vegan or vegetarian. It does not reflect the opinions of Chattr as a company and was written by the author as a light, comedy piece on her personal opinions. The author would also like to stress that this post is not aimed at all vegans in general. “As you’ll see mentioned in the post, I have no issue with whatever you eat, but for the love of a slurpee on a hot summer’s day, do NOT post 17,000 status’/images/quotes/links a day telling me why I suck at life for not being a vegan. This is who this article is aimed at! Enjoy and I hope you see the humour in it :)”

When procrastinating uni work, one of my favourite time-wasting activities is scrolling through my newsfeed. “Oh look Jenny went skiing.” “Damn, Andrew is getting drunk again?! That kid has no chill.” “I’m a shit human because I’m not a vegan.”

Wait, what?!

You guys know who I’m talking about. Everyone has one or two vegans on their newsfeed who just live to judge and slam non-vegans like it’s their religion, and honestly think you totally suck if you aren’t like them.

Everyone’s heard the jokes about cross-fitters and vegans “A crossfitter and a vegan walk into a bar, I only know because they’ve already told me 5 times.” But this is a new breed of vegans, what I like to refer to as ‘vegan extremists’ or ‘radical vegans.’ Instead of terrorist extremists, this niche group of annoying humans aren’t blowing up towns or buildings – they’re blowing up my newsfeed with their non-stop insults, slamming meat eaters, and it’s really ruining my day. (Not cool.)

Me reading my newsfeed source

It’s all well and good to be vegan, vegetarian, paleo – mate you can eat cardboard and plastic if that really tickles your pickle – but when you tell me that I’m a bad human, a terrible world citizen and a greedy meat eating monster who is apparently solely and completely responsible for ruining the world and sending cows extinct, that’s when I have an issue.

I understand there are health benefits to not eating a diet saturated with red meat, preservatives and dairy, but there is a little thing called ‘everything in moderation’ – including your posts slamming my lifestyle, just because it differs from yours.


Simply Nickey speaks my mind when she wrote My beef with vegans (pun intended) announcing her ‘retirement’ from the vegan life.

“What made this worse is these militant vegan people I know run around with great pride hollering at those who are not vegans and get very judgy. Don’t they know that doing this is a huge turn-off? That they are hurting their cause instead of helping it? If I were a meat lover I would think vegans are extremist wackos! I still and always will

eat a mostly plant-based diet whenever possible but if this doesn’t want to make me wave my middle finger as I drive through an In-N-Out Burger then nothing will! If you want people to make a change you must demonstrate kindness.”

Back in my day (1996 …Am I too young to be adopting that phrase?) people could eat and drink whatever they wanted in the privacy of their own home. I don’t see anyone protesting what colour underwear I wear to the gym, or the brand of tampons I buy each month, so what makes you think you can take another personal aspect of my life and tell me I’m what’s wrong with the world, just because that’s what YOU believe in.

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So here’s a pledge to the radical vegans: I will line up for chicken nuggets at McDonalds, drunk off my face at 3am if I please. I will buy some ham from the deli for my sandwich if I please. I will cook a sausage on my BBQ on Australia day if I please. I will do all of these things whilst continuing to pay my taxes, donate to the poor, tell people they are loved and help old people cross the road. See all of those kind deeds that I do to help mankind? Yet I’m what’s wrong with the world, and I’m destroying Earth because of what slithers down my throat and is digested in my belly? Your argument is invalid.