Well, the Married At First Sight couples are being forced to move in together and this couldn’t possibly end badly for anyone. Especially seeing as some of them aren’t even speaking after the dinner party.

Samantha complains some more about how she’s moving in alone, but basically just goes over the same talking points as to why she thinks Cam is terrible. Cam eventually shows up and they fight some more before he storms out. This seems to be a pattern with these two.

Apparently, it’s confession week. Seeing as we’ve booted the commitment ceremony I guess they had to throw something into the mix. What they’ve decided to throw in though is a super fun game where everyone gets to rank the other contestants by how hot they are. We’ve all made the mistake of playing this once in high school, and the crushing blows should have taught everyone to never do it again, but here we are.

“This could have polarising consequences,” says John Aiken, as he explains how this will fast track the getting to know people stage or something. How are these “experts” even real?

Bryce puts Melissa in fourth place, behind Bec, Booka, and Sam. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad if 1. Melissa didn’t have self-esteem issues already, and 2. Bryce hadn’t spent the last two minutes describing all the things that he doesn’t find attractive about the women he rated hotter than his wife.

Melissa, bless her, puts her dropkick husband first for some reason.

Belinda and Patrick put each other at number one on the hotness scale which is cute but not the drama we’re here for.

The drama we’re here for comes from Coco and Sam (of course). 

Sam says something about women being hormonal and then tries to mansplain women’s emotions. He puts Coco at number four, and look, she’s not stoked but she’s also not devastated.

When Coco puts him in the bottom four of her ranking though, he loses his tiny mind. He declares that the only reason this could be is because Coco is taking a cheap shot at him, and not because he’s got a painful personality and looks like discount early 2000s Eminem.

Finally, FINALLY, Coco gives Sam a piece of her mind.

“You think you’re allowed to rip on me for two weeks? I have not said one negative thing about you. I have never ripped about your personality. I have never ripped about the things you say to me. I have never, ever said anything about your physical appearance. You can’t rip on every essence of everything I am. And the one day I put you in a lineup? Don’t say I was taking a cheap shot.”

She joins the club of people to storm out. I’m not the biggest Coco fan, but you go, girl.