We’ve finally moved past Intimacy Week and are diving head first into the sort of messy dinner party drama that makes Married At First Sight the show we all know and love.

The couples are getting ready for the party, and nothing overly exciting happens except for the fact that Coco has decided a full body black sequinned body suit is the best thing to wear. It’s also sheer and we can see her g-string. She looks amazing, and I wish I had half that confidence, but there’s no way we’re getting through the evening without it being brought up.

Bryce is mad and ranting to Melissa about Sam. “If he’s going to disrespect women, then look what’s coming your way” he says. Because the real champion of women this season is the dude who told his wife she’s “not ugly” and hates the fact that her eyes aren’t blue.

Everyone shows up, Russell calls Coco’s outfit a “sparkling swimsuit”, and Mel Shilling says “That is quite something. Wow.”

Everyone hits the booze, and as they all get drunker and drunker, Sam and Bryce get angrier at each other while Coco and Cam get flirtier.

Cam moves seats to be closer to Coco, and finds himself chatting to Brett and Patrick. He admits to them he has a crush on Coco, so this is getting serious. Coco then goes and tells Joanne, Booka, and anyone else who will listen about hos much she likes Cam, and decided the best thing to do would be to go and tell Samantha about how much she wants to steal her husband.

Instead of ripping off her sequined bodysuit, Samantha actually gives them her blessing. She then disappears to cry in the bathroom, so I guess she wasn’t that stoked after all. 

Bryce and Sam are fully hurling insults at each other by this point. Sam calls Bryce ugly, they yell about how the other is the worst, Sam tells Bryce he’s got the personality of a doormat and Bryce responds by chucking a glass of water at Sam. 

The best part of this is that almost all of the water ends up on Patrick.

Back on planet cheating, Cam is mad at Coco for asking Samantha for her blessing, as if they haven’t been meeting in secret for ages now. Samantha has returned from crying in the bathroom at this point and drops her ring on the table before asking Cam if he wants to end it. Cam says “if you like” and they go back and forth, clearly neither wanting to be the one to pull the pin.

Coco declares that she doesn’t think the “juice is worth the squeeze” with Cam, and that she’s over it.

Alas, our cheating scandal may be over before it began. Catch you next week, same time, same channel.