Given the billion-dollar franchise she’s spawned, we can all agree that JK Rowling’s Harry Potter universe was constructed pretty damn well. With seven books, eight films, the Fantastic Beasts spinoff franchise, a theme park, a studio tour, Pottermore, and God knows how many other interfaces, you’d think that Rowling’s world building was flawless – and it’s close. However, a recent Reddit thread has compiled a variety of odd tropes that don’t make a lot of sense. Here are some of the best:
Warning: reading further is going to make you mad – and there will be spoilers (duh).
The conception of Rubeus Hagrid
We’ve all thought it (don’t lie to yourself) – how the hell did Hagrid’s teeny human dad impregnate his giantess mother – unless he used an engorgement charm on his dong? It’s almost (almost) as hard to imagine as Shrek’s Donkey getting it on with Dragon.
Reddit has imagined the, uh, sinfully delicious event as being “like throwing a hot dog down a hallway”, and suggested Hagrid’s dad would have needed “a wetsuit and a flashlight” to plant his seed. Okay, I’m going to move on.
The justice system is bogus
There’s an abundant supply of truth serum in the Harry Potter universe. Yet how does the magical law enforcement team deal with criminals? Throw them straight into a grim prison in the middle of the freaking ocean, often without a trial. So many innocent wizards suffered in Azkaban: Sirius Black and Rubeus Hagrid, to name a few.
“We think you killed someone, so we’re not going to give you a fair trial or undertake in an unbiased collection of information, no we’re going to just let you rot in what equates to Alcatraz in the middle of the damn ocean guarded by shadow demons that feed on hopes, dreams, human souls, and presumably the occasional puppy. Have fun!” – a Redditor
“Insufferable” Halloween culture
Sure, pointy hats and flying on broomsticks is cute. But the entire culture drinking pumpkin juice as though it’s a staple? C’mon.
The Hogwarts education is severely lacking
Where do these kids learn to write essays? Do they seriously graduate without knowing the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell? Can they divide fractions? Do they complete a comparative study of literature with Frankenstein and Blade Runner for their NEWTS? It’s cool they can all make feathers float with a swish and a flick, but sheesh. The excuse ‘wizard kids are home-schooled before they attend Hogwarts’ doesn’t fly with me.
Fundamental food laws
We find out in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows that Gamp’s Law of elemental transfiguration makes it impossible to create food out of thin air. Yet in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Mrs Weasley pours cheese source literally out of her wand. Scandalous.
Madam Pomfrey can grow bones back from scratch and resuscitate the petrified but can’t fix Harry’s eyesight.
One Redditor suggested using the spell “eye-vada kedavra”, to which a second user pointed out, “that spell makes you blind”. Technically the truth, right?
Love potions are perfectly legal, and easily accessible, by underage students
In criticisms of the series, love potions are often compared to date-rape drugs. After all, they’re sneakily given to a victim who loses their ability to give consent to what follows. Merope Gaunt, Voldemort’s mother, used one to effectively capture Tom Riddle Senior. This has led some to theorise that this is why Voldemort himself is incapable of love. We also see Romilda Vane attempt to woo Harry with a love potion in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, although Ron ends up digesting it by mistake.
Despite this collection of plot holes and flaws in Rowling’s HP universe, the series continues to enchant readers of all ages. Did we miss any major mistakes in the series? Let us know in the comments below!