I’m currently on an overseas trip exploring the wonderfully different European cultures, eating food with a massive calorie count, and sipping on cocktails that are two-thirds cream, 1 third alcohol. Of course, there are parts of travelling that aren’t so fun, which for me is the actual travel part. Airports, 10-hour bus trips and half-day ferries. I despise it with a passion.
When arriving at my next destination, I’m a hot mess with the same attitude as Regina George in the scene where she glues Lindsay Lohan’s face in the burn book. I guess you could call it a ‘young adult tantrum’? So to calm myself down, in times like these I make sure to download a few shows and films on Netflix. Somehow I managed to download Yummy Mummies (maybe because they’re Aussie and I wanted to hear the sweet, nasal accent for familiarity – sure, we’ll go with that). They are yummy, and they are mummies, but overall I am not convinced WTF this show is about. However, just like any other reality TV show, I somehow became hooked and watched the two seasons in one week, and I can honestly say that I loved to hate watching it.
With season 2 being released just last month, everyone woman in Australia who watches the show should now be caught up with the fabulous lives of Melbourne’s yummy mummies: Lorinska, Jane, Rachel, and newcomer Iva – who oddly enough reminds me of a woman I babysit for on the odd Saturday night. Their lives consist of PG 13 sex talk, what $100 k + ‘push present’ they’re asking their husbands to buy them for pushing out their child, designer brands, mothers’ group time (which is mostly drinking Mimosas at 10 in the morning, so yes, count me in), and of course they talk about their beautiful children and how much they love them (cute). The show feels quite flat because there doesn’t seem to be any drama in season 2 (the first season was definitely cattier) but to sum it up, the main components of the show are friendship, competition, day drinking, awkward husbands, and baby modelling agencies.
Here I have come up with a shortlist of pros (hah!) and cons (of course) on the show’s contents. We’ll start with the cons, because there’s more:
~ Cons ~
As amazing as it would be to receive a BMW from hubby or a watch that costs the same as a deposit on a Sydney home, why isn’t pushing life out of their hoohaas enough for them? Of course, pregnancy is a huge deal and every woman deserves support and love the whole way through, but I’m not sure demanding $90k earrings that could put the family in financial debt is the way to feel ‘support’ when having a child. Although, they’re filthy rich, so it wouldn’t really be putting them in debt. Hear me out though, Iva was given a Louis Vuitton wallet and said ‘it doesn’t cut it’. However, she was also given a check for 20 grand to buy whatever other purses or bags she wants from Louis Vuitton and she finally feels ‘relieved’. Sorry, but that is the definition of a brat.
The cringe sex stories
When they say they are the ‘Sex and the City group’ it makes me want to die on the inside. They are SO NOT the Sex and the City girls. It appears Lorinksa and Iva are a couple of horny mothers who love to talk about their private sex lives at their mothers’ group meetings – which make Jane and Rachel and the rest of Australia just a little uncomfortable. Lorinksa is always worrying about Rachel and Jane’s sex lives, which frankly is none of her beeswax. So she takes the group to eat oysters – an aphrodisiac – to get horny at 12pm before making love to their husbands that afternoon (um, aren’t the hubbies at work though to make the 5 mil a year they need to support their wives’ shopping sprees?). My favourite is when Iva asks out of the blue if anyone watches porn, and the room goes silent with the three mums shaking their heads in disgust.
Their babies exposed
I love watching Zoë Foster Blake’s Instagram stories of her babies being absolutely adorable and downright hilarious. What she posts of her children is acceptable (Zoe, please keep posting vids of Sonny eating food). However, these mums are not only exposing every detail of their pregnancies, but they’re also exposing themselves. What are their children going to think when their friends bring up Yummy Mummies at recess in junior high school? Honestly, it could go either way – they could love how their mums were on the reality TV show, or absolutely dread it. They had no say, and that’s not fair.
The stupid ‘Sip and See’ drama
Iva decides to have a princess themed ‘sip and see’. Oh, what’s a sip and see? It’s when you sip on champagne and see the baby. I don’t see any problem with that. However, since it’s princess-themed, it’s no boys allowed! Some of the yummy mummies have baby boys and are totally offended that their babies are excluded (lol, like they’re going to remember the event) and think this is an unprogressive choice. The whole thing is stupid.
Their husbands are awkward AF
Every time their husbands get air time (so maybe once in every three episodes for about 30 seconds) they are just on their phones ignoring their wives’ complaints and telling them ‘it’s gonna be fine’ in the most blokey way possible. They just don’t give a fuck. I don’t think anyone does really.
~ Pro ~
How social they are as parents
They have girls’ weekends away, they get cocktails (or mocktails if they’re preggers) at their cute lunches, and they seem to have a lot of energy and fun (although that may just be for the cameras). The point is, I would love to be that social as a mother, as unrealistic as it may be. Oh, and they also make me want to hit the gym five times a day.
That’s about all. There’s nothing else good about this sad excuse of a television program.