I have recently come to the realisation that someone I was close to is unfortunately very superficial. Their behaviour isn’t normal and every time they speak to me it sounds like they’re trying to say something else. For instance, when they say “I think your friend Alison is super lovely, like so, so sweet”, they actually mean “I’ll find a way to have coffee with this bitch friend of yours and shower them with ingenuine compliments to make them like me more than they like you.” Intense, right? And no, I’m not the psycho here, I can promise you that (even though that’s something a psycho would say). The word ‘sociopath’ may link to terms like ‘serial killer’ and ‘CEO’, but the person I know isn’t either of those. Whether this person is an actual sociopath or just a Blair Waldorf doppelganger I’m not certain, but I did some research and they fit a percentage of the eerie sociopathic trait checklist. Here is how to detect someone you should probably steer clear of:
Pathological lying
If you ask them where they bought their dress because you simply admire it and they make up some elaborate story of how it was their Mum’s in the 80s, yet you end up accidentally walking past the dress hanging on a mannequin at Witchery a week later, that’s when you know. You didn’t want to copy them and buy the same dress, you were just being polite. Awkward. Each and every white lie they tell defends them from the world that is ‘out to get them.’ But nothing is out to get them. It’s all in their head. It might be fun to try and catch them out on their string of lies, but really just get the fuck away from them.
Superficial charm
Using insincere charm is a classic manipulation technique used by sociopaths to reel in ‘friends’; in reality, there is a hidden agenda involved. A small percentage of people out there who are charismatic smooth talkers and make you feel like you’re the best thing that’s ever walked the planet are probably, in fact, serial killers (sorry, I mean sociopaths). I mean, of course you’re the bee’s knees, but anyone who might over compliment you or have some sort of animal magnetism is probably either Channing Tatum or a sociopath.
Manipulative
“You’re being dramatic.”
English translation: you’re not being dramatic. I just need to belittle your feelings and make you feel like you’re the one who’s in the wrong.
“I don’t have time to argue.”
English translation: I do have the time, and I love arguing with you.
*Cries* “My rabbit actually went missing for half of yesterday and the whole family is in shock. It’s been a horrible experience. I just need support.”
English translation: this is completely irrelevant to the issue you just confronted me about concerning something I did to you last week. I’m trying to guilt trip you into feeling bad for me and making me look like the victim. Lol, sucked in.
Self-absorbed
Basically, your Blair Waldorf friend thinks they’re better than you and that everyone likes them more than you. There’s a constant competition running through their mind: they need to be the best. One of my personal favourites is when they list all of the friends that say such lovely things to them all of the time, like how beautiful and amazing they are. Firstly, did I ask? But fuck, if I had six friends telling me how hot and excellent I was every day I would probably be the same too, and brag about it.
Shallow emotions
Shallow emotions are basically envy and greed. When they say they want the best for you, they really want the worst for you. They want to be the winner and they want you to be the loser. If you succeed in something, they will make sure that they do everything in their power to attempt to destroy your happiness and make them appear as someone who is better than you. It’s pretty horrible. It’s classic Blair Waldorf scheming behaviour and proves they sadly have ulterior motives behind their ‘happiness’ for you.
Do you think you know a real-life Blair Waldorf? Tell us what they do in the comments below.