Dating is hard; we watch Heidi and Mike on MAFS constantly bicker after less than a month of marriage, we hear our sister rant about how useless Tinder is, and we are definitely too lazy to text someone back, so we decide to ghost them as soon as things ‘get tough.’ Well, how on earth are we going to live ‘happily ever after’ with all of this bad attitude towards dating? We’ve pretty much established that the relationship ‘experts’ of MAFS are useless, so we’ve stepped up to dole out the dating advice you actually need. We have listed six solid date ideas for cash-poor twenty-somethings, and how to navigate each of them smoothly and appropriately
Picnic in the park (sponsored by Woolies)
Picnics are a sweet way to get in touch with nature and still be lazy by lying down and pouring wine and grapes down our throats. However, all frugal, non-lactose-intolerant millennials understand that a good cheese costs $7 a pop; sometimes picnics can cost up to $60 or more if you want a little more variety on your spread. Run to Woolies and get anything on sale and make sure to stop by Aldi too to get the $2.70 wine. You can save your luxe hundred dollar picnics for your thirties.
Get silly at a live music gig
Firstly, agree on a band. There’s nothing worse than watching screamo 2 metres away when your taste is Ed Sheeran and Sam Smith. That is why a live music gig date should be date number three or four; that way you are well acquainted with each other’s musical interests and can make a compromise if you two are polar opposites. If he likes Billie Eilish, he’s a keeper (or alternatively, PM me for my number and pass it on to him please).
Take a boxing class together
It’s hot and it’s sweaty, so I guess it could be sexy? Well, Hailee Steinfeld definitely made boxing look good in her Most Girls music video. Have a little lighthearted and competitive fun with your date by boxing it out at the gym or a class at the park out in the open where there are witnesses in case you both get a little too competitive. Just kidding. When we get active, we release endorphins, just like we do in sex with a big splash of oxytocin. Maybe this can be the pre-game?
Mini road trip
There’s nothing more exciting and challenging than being stuck in a moving car on the open road to god knows where. Whether you decide to camp somewhere or simply just road trip to the beach for a day, there’s something quite riveting about car games, fights over radio stations and awkward silences. In my personal opinion, road tripping is one of the most natural ways to bond with someone in 2019, and it shouldn’t be underestimated.
Boo at a comedy show
Go to your local stand-up comedy cafe for your next date. It’s cringe, awkward, and most definitely fun. You can chug down cheap drinks and encourage (or if you’re rude you can boo) the very brave soldiers going up on stage giving it their best shot. Think of this ‘bonding experience’ – as the experts would call it – as a way to just have a good laugh and not feel any pressures to make deep conversation for a moment; because ultimately, my belief is that most people ghost one another because they’re afraid of deep and meaningfuls. So if that’s the case, break the ice early and let someone else do the talking. Read my book: baby steps in dating for twenty-something dummies.
Cook dinner together and fail
I have very high confidence that cooking makes us horny; I feel like love mixed with cooking a hearty meal definitely kickstarts some hormones. Maybe it’s thanks to cheesy rom-coms? Whatever it is, it’s a delicious taste of what this person is like in the kitchen. It can be fun attempting to make pizza dough and it sticks to the roof when you toss it up, or when you make spaghetti and meatballs and you both accidentally taste the same strand of spaghetti and next thing you kiss (oh my God, I’m going to watch Disney now). But really, it’s just a bit of fun, and dating should be fun, not stressful.
It’s time to break away from the stigma of ‘the new generation of dating and how we are doomed to fail’ and the ‘expert’ advice we see on our TV screens at 7pm on Wednesdays to Sundays. Just relax, pick a cool person to hang out with, become their friend first and then go from there; make a mess in the kitchen and boo some poor first-year uni kid who’s trying out their first comedy routine. Happy dating!