Lifestyle Pop Thoughts

5 Things That Inevitably Happen When You Return to the Gym

4 minutes to read

We’ve all been there – feeling fat and bloated, lazy and unfit. We convince ourselves over and over that we will go back to the gym, start running again and eating healthy.

9/10 times this process mirrors that of quitting smoking: “quitting is easy, I’ve done it hundreds of times.”

We look at photos of our previously lean selves, telling ourselves we will go back to our diet in the morning, whilst finishing our large Big Mac meal tonight. Yet the only thing we’re going back to is the same process of getting back on track. I’m sure you can all empathise and agree with these five things that inevitably happen when you return to the gym!

  • Time starts to slow down

If you think a minute goes by really fast, you’ve clearly never tried planking. You find yourself staring at the stopwatch, that’s clearly taunting you, as sweat beads race down your face faster than Sydney ran to the In-N-Out pop up store in January! Your whole body shakes like you’re having a seizure and you start to remember why you quit this shit in the first place.

  • You burn more calories (presumably) so you start to eat more

A large meat lovers pizza from Dominos with cheese filled crust has never looked so good than after a 45 minute HIIT cardio class. Aside from feeling like blacking out and vomiting after burning 500 calories in a room with a screaming instructor and sweaty middle-aged women, you’re ready to ravish a town. It’s okay to load up on carbs, you need them for energy, but perhaps stay away from the fast food or you’re going in circles in terms of weight loss.

  • At least 3 muscles will be aching every day

Don’t expect to be able to walk after leg day, drive after chest day or carry anything relatively heavier than your morning soy cap after bicep and tricep day. When you finish an amazing work out and wake up the next day feeling like you were run over by a semi-truck, that’s when you’ve really hit the spot, and as satisfying as that feeling is – you know you’ll be hurting ten times more the second day!

  • Washing your hair becomes a necessary process …every day

Now, we all know it isn’t good to wash your hair every day, but when you have to choose between looking like a Pantene advertisement or a sweaty gorilla, we often don’t choose the latter.

Alas! I have the solution. Sulfate-free shampoo, such as Kevin Murphy, can lower the harshness if you do choose to wash the sweat out of your hair as soon as it rears its ugly head. Or you can invest in some dry shampoo, such as Batiste, to use in between washes to keep yourself looking …presentable.

  • You wake up in a better mood, feel more energised and relish in those endorphins

This last one is golden, and almost makes up for all the hardships of the gym …almost. They say it takes 21 days to break a bad habit, so reward yourself for going strong and make sure you’re proud of your progress. Don’t throw yourself in the deep end straight away, ease your body back into exercise and love the process along the way. No sweat, no beauty, no squat, no booty!